Thursday 22 October 2009

Size isn't everything

Surely a contender for grimmest show title ever, 'Unstapled' is the latest addition to the ever-growing genre of 'Fading one-time star surrenders self-respect whilst pursuing final glimmer of celebrity' TV.

This time, it's Carnie Wilson's turn in-front of the cameras, as she wanders the world, poking strangers in the shoulder-blades and forcibly reminding them that she used to be in a group called Wilson Philips.

Boasting the kind of pop music heritage most groups can only dream of, Wilson Philips was made up of the daughters of Beach Boys frontman Brian Wilson and The Mamas and the Papas twosome John and Michelle Philips. Thankfully, despite Brian and John's tentative grips on reality, the girls inherited their ears for harmony, rather than their mental health issues.

The band's debut album went on to sell ten million copies, making them (at the time) the best-selling girl group ever. But despite the group's success, Carnie was struggling with her own demons. She may have had the voice of an angel, but she also had the appetite of a rugby team. In every photo shoot, Carnie was tactfully placed behind her slimmer cohorts, like a backdrop with a face.

Tipping the scales at almost 300lbs, the voluminous vocalist took the bold step of undergoing gastric bypass surgery in 1999. Ever mindful of the fans, she kindly consented to broadcasting the operation live on the internet. In the end, she lost an astonishing 150 pounds (which in modern pop currency equates to two and a half Saturdays) and showcased her belittled bod in a Playboy spread.

Sadly, since her initial slim-down, Carnie's weight has fluctuated like the polygraph needle on a Katie Price lie-detector. But now it's full steamed-rice ahead for the yo-yo dieter as TV network GSN brings 'Unstapled' to TVs everywhere.

According to the official press release, the show will address Wilson's 'weight issues', but aims to focus primarily on her fledgeling business and family life. In reality though, it's highly likely that her relationship with food will remain centre-stage, especially given the telling language used in the report.

Whether it's Carnie talking about viewers wanting "to see more of me", a cheesecake-making business that will allow her to "bake in bulk" or the fact that there will be "plenty of fodder for the show", it's clear that piled plates are never far from anyone's mind.

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