Strangers in the night

Ever since they first burst onto the scene in 2005, the Jonas Brothers have been the puritanical poster boys for pubescent pop-fans. The three siblings, Joe, Kevin and Nick, have made a fairly big deal out of their wholesome, family-friendly image, even winning the scorn of Russell Brand who joked about their pledge to stay virginal.

Their father is a former Assemblies of God pastor, and they were homeschooled by their mother, so it shouldn't really come as a surprise that the boys agreed to wear purity rings as "a promise to ourselves and to God that we'll stay pure till marriage."

Abstinence is a big deal in the States, despite all the evidence that it actually encourages teenage sexual irresponsibility, rather than curbing it. Even Bristol Palin is coining it in, touring schools and lecturing on 'abstinence, pro-life and womens' issues'. Because, you know, it worked out so well for her.

When oldest brother Kevin got married in December 2009, speculation was rife about how quickly the wedding reception would be wrapped up so that Kevin could finally catch up on what he'd missed out on. Since two of the boys' albums had been titled 'A Little Bit Longer' and 'It's About Time', it seems that they were pretty preoccupied with it too. The wedding planner told press at the time that "Kevin couldn't stop smiling". Hardly surprising, given the circumstances.

Sadly for Kevin and Danielle, things haven't been running too smoothly since they got hitched. According to In Touch Weekly, the newly-weds are already sleeping in separate beds as a consequence of Kevin's nocturnal habits.

Don't worry, there's no sordid secret hiding out in Kevin's closet - he just has a snoring problem. A friend of the couple told the magazine that Danielle “loves her husband, but now she sleeps in a guest room when he gets too noisy. They are still crazy about each other, but the snoring has become a big joke for their friends.”

The magazine's indiscreet informer correctly points out that “Kevin and Danielle had never spent a night together until their wedding night, so she had no clue that he snores so loudly.” Kevin and his siblings were so busy focusing on their protecting their chastity, they overlooked some of the other issues thrown up by 'sleeping together'.

Size isn't everything

Surely a contender for grimmest show title ever, 'Unstapled' is the latest addition to the ever-growing genre of 'Fading one-time star surrenders self-respect whilst pursuing final glimmer of celebrity' TV.

This time, it's Carnie Wilson's turn in-front of the cameras, as she wanders the world, poking strangers in the shoulder-blades and forcibly reminding them that she used to be in a group called Wilson Philips.

Boasting the kind of pop music heritage most groups can only dream of, Wilson Philips was made up of the daughters of Beach Boys frontman Brian Wilson and The Mamas and the Papas twosome John and Michelle Philips. Thankfully, despite Brian and John's tentative grips on reality, the girls inherited their ears for harmony, rather than their mental health issues.

The band's debut album went on to sell ten million copies, making them (at the time) the best-selling girl group ever. But despite the group's success, Carnie was struggling with her own demons. She may have had the voice of an angel, but she also had the appetite of a rugby team. In every photo shoot, Carnie was tactfully placed behind her slimmer cohorts, like a backdrop with a face.

Tipping the scales at almost 300lbs, the voluminous vocalist took the bold step of undergoing gastric bypass surgery in 1999. Ever mindful of the fans, she kindly consented to broadcasting the operation live on the internet. In the end, she lost an astonishing 150 pounds (which in modern pop currency equates to two and a half Saturdays) and showcased her belittled bod in a Playboy spread.

Sadly, since her initial slim-down, Carnie's weight has fluctuated like the polygraph needle on a Katie Price lie-detector. But now it's full steamed-rice ahead for the yo-yo dieter as TV network GSN brings 'Unstapled' to TVs everywhere.

According to the official press release, the show will address Wilson's 'weight issues', but aims to focus primarily on her fledgeling business and family life. In reality though, it's highly likely that her relationship with food will remain centre-stage, especially given the telling language used in the report.

Whether it's Carnie talking about viewers wanting "to see more of me", a cheesecake-making business that will allow her to "bake in bulk" or the fact that there will be "plenty of fodder for the show", it's clear that piled plates are never far from anyone's mind.