OK, I thought we'd try the live blog again, since the last one was such a success (i.e. not a success at all). Before we get started, I feel obliged to mention that when it comes to blow-by-blow accounts, nobody does it better than these guys.
Anyway, the show's started, so let's follow their lead. Cheryl's arrived in a dress that should have a Christmas tree hanging out of the bottom of it. No time for that though, they're already up and running with the acts.
First up... it's Rachel.
She's wearing a sweater with shoulder pads and make-up that looks like she just finished a shift spooking people on a ghost-train. The echo chamber is dropping her vocals out on the verses, but the backing dancers from Cats are doing their best to distract the audience. Her voice has a nice gravelly quality, but the song ended just as she was getting started. By the way, someone should point out to Simon that 'mis-underestimated' isn't a real word, unless you live in George W Bush's world.
Good Lord, here come the girls... it's Kandy Rain. They're tasked with 'proving Louis right', which is easier said than done.
Any attempts at encouraging the public to forget that these girls used to be strippers has been thrown out of the window, there's barely a skirt between the four of them. And the vocals have all the tuneful finesse of... well a bunch of strippers who've been asked to keep their clothes on and find some other way of keeping the audience engaged. I'm just glad they didn't try stand-up. Surprisingly, the girls didn't like it, Simon did. Who saw that coming?
Here's Olly. He aspires to be like Robbie - which makes sense, since Robbie's made a career out of being smug and blokey.
Some people shouldn't attempt falsetto, and he's the one. Bit of a silly dance and an annoyingly expectant face, but he warmed up and the vocal got better. Louis' "made the song your own" button must have gotten stuck, we've had it three times and we're not even at the second break. Speaking of which, here's one now...
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