Fashion rocks

Break open the Hennessy and pour yourself a large one, Kanye is back where he belongs - gobbling up column inches thanks to some pretty bizarre public appearances.

After another difficult week, when he was rumoured to have been banned from appearing on George Clooney's Haiti benefit telethon, the egomaniacal eejit is once again on everyone's mind. And he didn't even have to storm a stage to do it.

Instead, he's been out and about with his freaky space-alien girlfriend Amber Rose. You know who I mean - tall, exotic, dress sense that makes Grace Jones look like Hillary Clinton.

Making the most of their time at Paris Fashion Week, Kan-Ber have been seen at every party in town, with Amber sporting an array of outfits so bizarre that even Lady GaGa would think twice before appearing in public.

Last week, the two of them headed out in full length fur coats, making them look like refugees from a Maurice Sendak book. The People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA to their friends) took exception to this, with VP Dan Mathews stating, "Kanye can't help making himself look like an idiot, whether at an awards show or a fashion show. He and his girlfriend look like pathetic creatures from a shabby roadside zoo."

If Dan thought the coats made them look like idiots, he must have been laughing into his soya latte when he saw Amber's next outfit - a high-vis jacket covered in unhatched Mogwai.

Thankfully though, they saved the best for last. Arriving at the Chanel Spring-Summer 2010 this morning, Kanye settled for a conservative (if rather naff) velvet smoker's jacket, whereas Amber decided on a hooded, gold knitted dress that gave her the appearance of a giant, sparkly dildo.

But credit where credit's due - I take my hat off to anyone who can keep a straight face with that on their arm.