Sunday, 17 January 2010

Love and Haiti

It seems that a humanitarian crisis can really bring out the best in people. Last week's earthquake in Haiti, with a death toll rumoured to be upwards of 150,000 people, has seen people from all walks of life trying to find some way to offer their assistance.

Brad and Angelina, Sandra Bullock, Gisele Bundchen, Madonna and Wyclef Jean have all stuck their hands in their pockets and donated considerable sums of money to aid the relief work, in the process using their high profile to encourage members of the public to do what they can.

However, not everyone in the public eye has been quite so kind-hearted. In scenes reminiscent of the days after the 7/7 London bombings, when Fox News journalist Brit Hume claimed that it was a great time to invest, some celebrities have shown that they'd rather be looking in the mirror than out of the window.

Taylor Momsen, the 16-year old star of Gossip Girl, was asked how she felt about the horrifying scenes unfolding in Haiti. Displaying the kind of empathetic selflessness that makes Pixie Geldof look like Anne Frank, she replied “Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”

It's hardly surprising the poor girl seemed bewildered - she was busy promoting her new scent Love Rocks after all: “Ya know, it’s just a little bit more masculine which I like a lot. And the packaging looks really pretty on a vanity I think. And I like the little spray, what’s that called? An atomizer. I like the little atomizer.” I think we may have found our new UN ambassador.

Over on Twitter, Tila Tequila (the part-time lesbian and full-time disgrace) was channelling the still-fresh grief she had displayed so poignantly for her dead fiancee, into a prayer for the people of Haiti. Unsurprisingly, for anyone who has ever seen Tila's attempts at passing as human, her Tweets were all about her rather than the Haitians.

"Each disaster on earth is no longer "MOTHER NATURE" but it is all in the book leading to the world ending. Humans have become EVIL and CRUEL. I am only ONE person who has ALWAYS tried her best to make the world a better place. To stand up for ppl. I am God's Angel sent down 2 watch." They do say that God moves in mysterious ways - but he must have been strung out on crack when he sent us Tila Tequila to show us the way.

Speaking of God's emissaries on Earth, perhaps the worst example of 'how not to act in a crisis' came from Pat Robertson, the controversial voice of Christian conservatism in America. Pat's no stranger to shocking outbursts - soon after 9/11 he and cohort Jerry Falwell managed to blame the terror attacks on gays and lesbians. According to the loudmouth lunatic, our permissive society had made God so cross that he did what any kind-hearted deity would do - he chartered four flights and ploughed them into major landmarks.

Ranting on the Christian Broadcasting Network's 'The 700 Club' this week, Robertson shared his revisionist view of history, claiming that the earthquake was a direct consequence of the Haitians making a pact with the devil to liberate themselves from their French oppressors.

Adding credence to his seemingly preposterous claims, Pat added "They said, we will serve you if you'll get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal. Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other." There you have it - true story.

If this Earthquake really was an act of God, all it proves is that he's got pretty poor taste and a shitty aim.

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