Sunday, 3 January 2010

Oh God, it's as bad as we feared

The tabloids were right. Next in it's Alex Reid, Jordan's insignificant other. He was at least smart enough to wear a jacket, and is proud of his "various TV and film" projects - presumably not the rapey ones.

Stephanie Beecham has starred in Bad Girls, so knows what it's like to be imprisoned with a bunch of shrieking ne'er-do-wells. Her Grandson calls her 'Glamma' rather than 'Grandma' - see what they did there? The four shirtless boys heralding each celeb's arrival must be a little nippy, those flaming torches will come in handy later. She's looking very well turned out, in a sensible version of Nicola T's outfit - i.e. a coat rather than a nighty.

"Yeah what's up - I'm Lady Sovereign, but most people call me Sov." I'm sure that's not all they call her. She likes appearing in photos sneering through her hands, and her single 'Love Me or Hate Me' (shouldn't be too hard to choose) sold a million copies. She shuns the celebrity world, so made great career move by going on a reality show with 'celebrity' in the title. The audience are rather kindly chanting "chav chav chav" at her, thus setting the tone for tonight. She just looked in a mirror and said "Oh gosh!" - not very council really.

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