Are we sure they're related?

Kerry Katona must be furious. After all, her own (estranged) flesh-and-blood have put the mockers on her plans for a tearful family reunion.

It turns out that the death of her (also estranged) father led to the discovery of a whole host of new relatives to parade in front of MTV's all-too-eager camera crew. Presumably, now that she's taken back Mark, Kerry's recently announced series about her imminent divorce has had to be pulled. So she needs another area of her disastrous existence to capture on video instead. But when Kerry set up the meeting with her new-found family, they objected to the fact that she wanted it all capturing for her next TV series. Imagine that - someone that shares Kerry's genetic code objected to having an important moment in their life turned into disposable celebutainment.

Apparently, the meeting went well and the family plan to catch up again soon. Which means we'll probably never hear about them again. After all, the cameras are only ever interested if things are going wrong, and in these terms, Kerry Katona is like ground zero. If an unfortunate life is considered a car crash, Kerry Katona's is a 14-car motorway pile-up involving a school bus full of orphans and a tanker full of toxic waste. And we're the rubberneckers slowing down to view the carnage.