This man doesn't want you to have sex

Pretty, plasticky Zac Efron, he of the sweaty torso and well-plucked eyebrow, has a new movie out. It's called 17 Again and stars Matthew Perry as a man who gets the chance to relive his adolescence in the body of the High School Musical Ken-doll. It opens in the US this weekend and will no doubt be a huge hit with the tweens who make the Jonas Brothers a viable musical act.

In amongst the reviews which have unanimously praised Efron's 'comic timing and charisma' and even the 'masculinity that belies his appearance', there have been a number of references to the film's pro-abstinence message. Apparently, there's a narrative thread running throughout the movie that focuses on Perry/Efron's character's lifelong regret at having impregnated his girlfriend at the age of 17.

Coming so soon after Catherine Hardwicke's adaptation of Twilight, starring the equally hormonally charged Robert Pattinson, it would seem that there's an impetus within Hollywood to carry the torch of George Bush's pro-abstinence movement. In case you missed it, Twilight is the publishing phenomenon responsible for 1 in 7 of all books sold in the first quarter of 2009 in the US. Mormon author Stephanie Meyer created the stories as a metaphor for the advantages of teenage abstinence - lead vampire Edward has to resist his most natural urges every time he's with the love of his life Bella, until they're married of course...

So anyway, the conservatives are all slapping themselves on the back because they've finally got some teen-safe entertainment to push to their kids. Which is great, except for the fact that abstinence programs have been proven time and time again to be unsuccessful. It's a bit like trying to cure obesity by telling people to save their pudding till after the main course.

Since 1982, the US government has spent over $3.6 billion on abstinence programs, with no evidence that they have any beneficial impact on delaying sexual activity or reducing the number of sexual partners that young people have. What they have accomplished, is the creation of an educationally backward generation with no clue how to protect themselves against unwanted pregnancies, STDs, or even merciless bathroom graffiti.

The cruel irony in all of this, is that Hollywood (or at least a specialist part of it) thinks it's helping by creating pro-abstinence message movies. The problem is, by casting hormone-twitching heart-throbs like Robert and Zac, all they're really doing is firing up the loins of millions of lusty young teenage girls, and releasing them into the wild without any idea of how to protect themselves. What an astonishing stroke of genius. Just sit back and watch those teen pregnancy rates soar...