Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Punch drunk love

It's been fairly quiet on the Katie Price front, since she packed up her tucker bag and flounced out of the jungle. Sure, she's still in the papers every day, but more like the awful cartoons on the crossword page that you never bother reading - you're just peripherally aware of their continued existence.

But a funny story emerged in the Daily Star today, alleging further trouble in Camp Katie. Despite the fact that we've seen her in various states of undress so often that most of the UK could sue her for sexual harassment, she's worried about being exposed in a different way.

According to the story, she's concerned that Alex Reid is going to talk to the press about 'the real Katie' - even if that is a contradiction in terms. Ever the soft-hearted romantic, Katie made Alex sign a confidentiality agreement when they first got together, guaranteeing that he would 'not speak publicly about Price'.

Pre-nuptial agreements are strange enough, but to sign legal papers before you even start dating is downright worrying. Still, the pantie-wearing pugilist proved that he knows a meal-ticket when he sees it, and managed to pull a fast one on Katie. Apparently, Alex 'outsmarted' Katie by signing the papers as his lipstick-smearing alter-ego Roxy, making the agreement null and void.

Admittedly, Katie could be outsmarted by a damp bath-mat, but for Alex to get the upper hand is even more embarrassing. And let's be honest, signing a contract with a woman's name is about as sophisticated a deception as signing an opinion poll "Donald Duck".

What's clear about this whole ridiculous story is that Katie isn't really worried about her secrets. In fact, the whole concept of privacy is as alien to her as the 'natural look'. Her real concern is that someone else is likely to make some money out of talking to the press about the ins-and-outs (not literally I hope) of her life.

Thankfully, our resourceful heroine has one more trick up the place where her sleeves would be if she wore them - she plans to keep Alex on side until he's appeared in Celebrity Big Brother next year. Then she'll dump him and move on. Warms the heart doesn't it?

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