Wednesday 30 December 2009

*Battery not included

An ugly pair of socks. Nothing but green triangles left in the Quality Street tin. Noel Edmonds. Everyone has something that pushes their buttons at Christmas.

For Charlie Sheen, it's the threat of divorce. His wife Brooke Mueller threatened to leave him, to which he responded by breaking her glasses, pinning her down by the throat and threatening to kill her. Allegedly.

I say allegedly because, as with all matrimonial disputes, there's going to be an element of he said she said.

Some might say there's no smoke without fire. After all, Charlie is the poster boy for mis-spent youth/adolescence/middle-age, and has established a worse reputation than "Cha-Cha" DiGregorio.

As well as the prolific drug habit, he's gone through more tarts than Mr Kipling. He even made an enemy out of Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss, when he gave evidence against her, despite having used her services often enough to subsidise his own wing of the brothel.

And yet, despite his hell-raising ways (even Pinhead is taking notes), Charlie somehow landed himself a smash-hit sitcom, one which successfully blends the highbrow comedy of The Odd Couple with the equally sophisticated humour of My Two Dads.

So now, America's favourite TV comedy star is facing charges of second-degree assault, menacing and criminal mischief - which makes it sound as though the most appropriate punishment would be a good slippering by his dad. But this isn't The Beano, and these are serious charges.

Still, it is party season in Aspen, so perhaps we shouldn't be too surprised that Brooke was able to put her trauma behind her and hang out at the Caribou Club. Nor should we be too shocked to hear from Charlie's ex-wife Denise Richards about her own ugly experiences.

What is weird, is the fact that she took to Twitter to do it, and chose to tease the story, saying "...one day..I will spill my guts about EVERYTHING,". Apologies if this seems overly cynical, but it all smacks of a forthcoming magazine exclusive rather than the painful recollections of a abused wife.

As for Charlie, he's keen to resume filming on Two and a Half Men, and there are no signs that the show will be affected. But although Charlie's character is based on his own 'bad boy' reputation, I can't see that its producers will be rubbing their hands together with excitement about all the new material he's giving them.

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