Ding dong at Number 10

There are few things more annoying than when your neighbours throw a party. They might stick a conciliatory note through your letterbox to pre-warn you of the festivities (along with a half-hearted invitation to 'drop by if you're free') but you still know that you're going to be pacing the floor at three in the morning wishing they'd turn the music down.

So spare a thought for the inhabitants of Downing Street, who must be regretting the arrival of their newest neighbours, with the news that David Cameron is planning a big gay bash to court 'the pink vote'. Here's hoping they don't mind Hazell Dean and Madonna remixes blasting out until the cock crows.

It's a little belated, given that the general election was six weeks ago, but Dave's hoping that his new 'hug a homo' policy will convince voters that he represents the new caring, sharing Conservative party. It's been a long time coming, given that his Tory predecessors at Number 10 would happily have burned gays at the stake if they'd been able to get their hands on enough wood.

Still, progress is progress, and this is in many ways quite a breakthrough for the shiny-cheeked PM. No news yet on the planned activities for the party (Pin The Tail on The Porn Star is always a hit), but the guest list is likely to include "a host of prominent gay figures", as well as other Tory and Liberal Democrat ministers.

It's to be hoped that there'll be plenty of alcohol on offer (with low calorie mixers, natch) since conversation is likely to be stilted at first. The official Downing Street statement claims that the reception will be a "celebration of the achievements of gay equality campaigners", which loosely translates as "celebrating all the times they managed to overturn Draconian and inhumane Conservative policies". Awkward.

Cameron seems to be pretty committed to his mission to evolve the Tories' reputation on gay issues - he wrote a lengthy piece in the Pink News back in April answering a range of questions from concerned readers and, in most cases, seemed to say what they wanted to hear.

However, he's not yet ready to confirm his attendance at Gay Pride on July 3rd. Maybe, like many of the gays, he's just waiting to see which music acts they book - no point getting excited over Jocelyn Brown, half of Scooch or David Van Day's Bucks Fizz.

Judging by the way the readers of the Daily Mail have responded to the news, Cameron still has his work cut out if he's going to shift the opinions of conservative Middle England. Robert from Leicester (who seems somewhat profligate in his use of quotation marks) comments "Discrinination! Why only Homosexuals? If heterosexuals had a party excluding Homo sexuals there'd be an outcry from the "Gay" lobby. What a silly idea. Cameron trying to be "with it" again."

Nonetheless, it's a brave man who throws open his doors to a crowd of homosexuals just weeks after moving into a new house. Let's just hope that he and Samantha have got their soft furnishings and colour schemes in place.