Sunday, 14 March 2010

Thin may be in...

Seven years ago, Channel 4 ran a documentary that had almost as significant impact on popular culture as the BBC's seminal 'John's Not Mad'. But rather than focusing on the difficult life of a Glaswegian teenager with Tourettes, 'Fat Girls and Feeders' portrayed precisely what it said on the tin - gigantic women, and the men who glaze their donuts.

With the media constantly reveling in shock stories predicting an obesity epidemic, there was nothing inherently surprising about a bunch of women who need planning permission to change their outfit. What was revelatory, was the notion that these women are, in their own way, sexually desirable.

The 'feeders' are usually the boyfriend or husband of these titanic temptresses, who encourage irresponsible eating habits because they find undulating folds of fat a turn-on. I guess the thinking is - 'Why settle for two breasts, when you can have eight?'

Channel 4's show may have aired back in 2003, but the phenomenon seems to be going from strength to strengthened floorboard. So please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle as you wave hello to Donna Simpson, a rhomboid redneck who is on a single-minded mission to become the world's fattest woman.

It turns out that Donna's partner Philippe is "a real belly man" and would like it if she was even bigger - he obviously wants a girlfriend he needs an HGV licence to ride.

Donna's doing all she can to grant his wishes, but unfortunately, there's one small problem - it costs Donna $750 a week to keep her looking like something the Montgolfiers might invent.

Not one to rest idle, Donna's found a clever way of making money. If the internet has taught us one thing, it's the fact that men will masturbate to pretty much anything.

So we should hardly be surprised that there's a 'specialist' website for men who get off watching enormous women eating fast food. Anyone want to guess how Donna makes her money?

"'I love eating and people love watching me eat. It makes people happy, and I'm not harming anyone" says the big-hearted (amongst other organs) 42-year old.

Her goal is to weigh 1000lbs, but if she's going to achieve that, she needs to avoid exercise wherever possible - "It might be hard though. Running after my daughter keeps my weight down." Thankfully, the mobility scooter she uses to get around should help her with that.

Donna actually has a point (just the one though, since the rest of her is noticeably rounded) - she isn't hurting anyone. And if she can afford all those burgers, then bon appetit.

A thoughtful reader commented on the Mail's coverage of this story: "I know it's harsh but when she falls down with a heart attack, I hope nobody elses money is wasted trying to save her." Since Donna lives in the US, where there's no such thing as universal health care, it's safe to say that no money will be 'wasted' at all. Except maybe the cost of the pavement repairs.

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