Monday, 22 March 2010

It's getting hot in herre

Forget Cheryl Cole, Victoria Beckham and Colleen Rooney. Footballers' wives are old news. In the run-up to the impending general election, it's all about the PWAG.

Given that the three main party leaders have all the approachability of a hospital bin full of used needles, they're all dragging their wives out of the woodwork. Having seen the impact that Michelle Obama's poise, style and formidable upper-body strength had on the world's media, they're all keen to appeal to the masses by using their better, prettier halves.

Gordon Brown is sitting comfortably, safe in the knowledge that his unassuming wife has already done her bit to boost his reputation. Interestingly, Sarah is the UK's most popular Twitterer, with over 700,000 followers, overtaking Stephen Fry late last year. Rather worryingly, Mrs Brown has almost five times as many fans as the Labour Party's official feed.

Over in the Liberal Democrat camp, things are a little less encouraging. Despite Nick Clegg making a decent attempt at coming across as a regular guy on ITV last night, the Daily Mail is keen to point out the incontrovertible Spanishness of Miriam Gonzalez Durantez (AKA Mrs Clegg). They love the fact that she's unable to vote in the British elections because she's not a British citizen, and the not-so subtle reference to her 'stealing' Nick from one of her friends helps to portray her as a deceitful harlot.

But we can't expect them to show much interest in Sarah or Miriam, when that leggy icon of loveliness Samantha Cameron is around. In the least convincing display of "Oh gosh, how terrible I had no idea those pictures would ever come to light" since Pamela and Tommy went sailing, some early modelling shots of young Samantha have 'emerged'

Loosen your blazers boys, we've got a hot one right here.

Posing like an uncomfortable giraffe that's been rifling through Antonia De Sancha's wardrobe, Samatha's 'youthful modelling shots' manage to capture all her ravishing natural beauty and effervescence. Don't focus on the white tights (which belong on a Ricki Lake makeover segment) or the damson lipstick that makes her look like she's been chewing on a broken pen, just check out those gams.

In an uncharacteristically complementary article, Amanda Platell practically frigs herself into a coma over the conservative coquette's "enviable long legs" but interestingly makes no mention of her equally lengthy visage. I guess it's a case of horses (face) for courses, since what Amanda describes as "alluring" is more reminiscent of a drugged-up debutante waiting for her driver to turn up.

If nothing else, Platell should be ashamed of misleading viewers with the promise of a "risque fashion shoot" given that the pictures are about as sexually provocative as a recipe for bread and butter pudding. And any erstwhile smut-seekers are going to be very disappointed with the Google Image search results for 'Samantha Cameron shows pussy'.

No comments:

Post a Comment