Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Boy, lost

It's a sad fact that too many Hollywood stars, in the words of Pretty Boy Romano, “Live fast, die young and have a good-looking corpse”. Unfortunately, Corey Haim only managed two out of three.

Today it was announced that the 38-year old star of License To Drive was found dead by his mother, of a suspected drug overdose. He had been plagued by his addictions for most of his adult life, once admitting he would be "a chronic relapser for the rest of [his] life".

To most people, Haim will always be associated with the Lost Boys, Joel Schumacher's campy but iconic 1988 vampire movie, in which he was first paired with 'the other Corey'.

Although Jason Patric was supposed to be the heroic lead, he spent most of the movie acting more undead than the seductive vampires he was supposed to be drawn to. Maybe he was just tempted by their circle of mulletry.

Corey Haim, on the other hand, portrayed Patric's younger brother in a series of breathtakingly dated outfits - the pinnacle of which was the awesome stripy trench coat complete with a popped collar and single stud earring.

When he wasn't singing falsetto and styling his immaculate frosted tips into a bath-foam mohican or eying up his uber-gay Rob Lowe poster, Corey's character Sam spent his time hanging around the Frog Brothers' comic book store or checking out the disturbing muscular saxophone player rocking out on the beach-front.

Following the film's modest success, imaginative producers were quick to capitalise on the young star's chemistry with Corey 2.0. The clueless twosome were cast in a series of unwatchable movies designed to appeal to teenage girls who struggled to comprehend more than one name at a time.

By the time the 90s rolled around, the Coreys were yesterdays' news, and spent much of the decade battling their respective drug habits. Along the way, Haim briefly romanced Victoria Adams (pre-Beckham) although she has stated that the two of them never consumated their relationship. According to the pouting pipecleaner, Corey was a shit kisser who used to chew his lip - probably because she didn't have any.

However, Corey was briefly reunited with the true love of his life, when he and Corey F teamed up to make the sort-of reality show 'The Two Coreys'. Presenting a modern twist on the classic 'Odd Couple' concept, the show depicted what happened when single, meat-eating slob Haim moved in with married, vegetarian neat-freak Feldman. It only lasted one season - shocked faces all round.

As the two BFFs went their separate ways once again, Feldman vowed he would not work with his friend until the latter managed to resolve his personal problems. Tragically, Haim might have found fame battling fictional creatures of the night, but it seems that the real demons simply proved too much for him.

Sometimes it takes more than a water pistol full of crushed garlic or a stereo in the bathtub.

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