Sunday 29 November 2009

The pearl necklace brigade strikes back



Three glamorous women, using their feminine wiles and keen intellect to fight crime, and looking fabulous throughout. Sound familiar? Don't worry, McG hasn't drunkenly staggered back onto the Charlie's Angels set to make another multi-coloured abomination. It's none other than Gloria Hunniford, Jennie Bond and Angela Rippon - teaming up to tackle the evils of 'Rip-off Britain'.

But who needs high-kicks and catsuits, when you've got three matronly journalists who can ask tough questions even as they're fishing in their handbags for a boiled sweet? With a combined age greater than most National Trust properties, they've been around the block enough times to know the difference between right and wrong. In fact, they were around when the block was still fields. Now they're determined to get justice for the down-trodden masses, or as Gloria calls them, "the 'little' people".

Unsurprisingly, my preferred newspaper is touching itself with delight, at the prospect of two of its favourite things coming together in one show - post-menopausal Middle-Englanders and 'fat cats' executives hauled over their coals. It's a marriage made in Tunbridge Wells.

Sadly though, as is so often the case, the majority of innocent victims featured in 'Rip Off Britain' have only their own ignorance to blame. The first rule of investment is - don't invest it if you can't afford to lose it. But still there are countless people out there willing to gamble their life savings in the hope of striking it rich.

Similarly, utilities companies often make mistakes when calculating bills, so customers have be diligent and question anything that seems disproportionately expensive. But rather than take responsibility, it seems much easier to wait for these three to come to the rescue in a lavender-scented blur of beaded twinsets.

So what credentials do these 'rottweilers' have in bringing corporate Britain to its knees? Well Gloria once received an overestimated gas bill and she took no prisoners in ensuring that justice was done. Rather than strap herself into an explosive jacket and hold the CEO of Centrica to ransom, she "hit the phone and stayed on it until the bill was reduced." Here's hoping the producers of the A-Team movie are taking notes. 

Like Woodward and Bernstein in mumsy drag, the post-hormonal probers are rightly proud of their new show. As Jennie Bond says "...we've worked as hard-nosed journalists for years and covered all kinds of stories. I think that this could be our most important television work ever." Compared with such televisual heights as tap dancing with Morecambe and Wise, lying in a coffin full of rats, or providing hungover students with spiritual whimsy, that's high praise indeed. 

1 comment:

  1. In fact, they were around when the block was still fields. Now they're determined to get justice for the down-trodden masses, or as Gloria calls them, "the 'little' people".

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