Saturday, 21 November 2009

I'll do anything...

Tonight was the night we've all been waiting for, as the jungle dwelling celebrities had to gulp down some of Australia's foulest foodstuffs. Best of all, it was the latest chapter in Katie Price's ongoing penance at the hands of the unforgiving British public.

The last time Katie spent time in the jungle she was trying to raise her profile, having spent several years appearing in the kind of calendars that you might find hanging in a KwikFit garage. Audiences were surprised to discover that behind the face that's gone through more changes than Optimus Prime, was a steely determined business woman with a refreshingly take-no-prisoners approach. She even managed to snag herself a husband, in the form of Peter Andre a man so unthreatening that a newborn lamb could bully his lunch money out of him.

A lot of botox has dribbled under the bridge since then, in which time Katie has managed to squander almost all the goodwill she's built up over the last few years. In a last-ditch attempt to resurrect a career which consisted mostly of phoning the tabloids on a daily basis to tell them what she'd found in the toilet, she decided to return to the show that made her name.

So here she is once again, almost as though the last four years never happened. Except they did, because now she looks as though she's going undercover in the Australian outback disguised as a platypus. She's also having to win over the rest of the gang who are understandably disgruntled about he fact that Katie got an estimated five times their fee for taking part in the show.

Still, her lesser known (bordering on anonymous) campmates are having the last laugh, as the audiences at home insist that Katie tackles every single bushtucker trial. Although she's no stranger to being debased in public, it's usually on her own terms, so it's no wonder that she's getting a little frustrated. But there's no point looking for sympathy in the camp, since the other contestants are wise to her publicity-seeking ways.

'How Clean Is Your House?' star Kim Woodburn, who resembles a doll's face resting on a pile of mashed potatoes, has already laid into Katie, accusing her of being a publicity seeker. To be fair to Katie, such condemnation seems a little rich coming from someone willing to chew a kangaroo testicle on TV to maintain her own media profile.

Kim's accusation clearly struck a chord with Katie, who admitted that she used to love the publicity but had come to the jungle because she "wanted some peace". Maybe the guesthouses in Bognor were all booked up and a TV show filmed on Australia's Gold Coast was the next best thing?

But for all Katie's protests, it's rather telling that she's now being lined up to appear on the US version of I'm A Celebrity... At this rate, she's going to be a staple of the format, like the platter of witchetty grubs, the bemused Caiman in a fish tank, and the tree-top studio. Next time she complains that she's had enough and is thinking of leaving, check the schedules - it could just be that she's due to start filming the show for another broadcaster. 

1 comment:

  1. i dont know why jordon found this task so hard i thought she was used to chewing balls of whatever kind and as for using her teeth as an excuse what parts of her body havent been touched bet shes even got a designer vagina silly bitch!