Sharon gets ugly (again)

Proving that there's no bitch like an old bitch, Sharon Osbourne has decided to show the caring maternal instinct that won her the title of Freemans Celebrity Mum of the Year in 2006. Appearing on a US radio show hosted by Opie and Anthony, the Wicked Witch of the West Coast decided to take a pop at the world's newest middle-aged sweetheart.

Talking about Susan Boyle, Sharon (whose greatest gift to the world was a pair of entitled brats with substance abuse issues) described the showtune-loving spinster as having a face like a "slapped arse".

Encouraged by the laughing goons in the studio, Osbourne continued: "She does look like a hairy arsehole. She's a lovely lady, but she needs a Gillette razor. [God] gave her the talent. Yes he did. [And] he hit her with a fucking ugly stick."

Which is a little rich, given that Sharon has spent over £120,000 transforming herself from frumpy housefrau to well-loved national matriarch. And she still looks like Alex Reid's alter-ego Roxanne. 

Susan Boyle may never be the face of L'Oreal, but at least all her shortcomings are superficial. Sharon's unpleasantness is on the inside too, which makes one wonder just where she's been putting her own ugly stick.