Monday, 9 November 2009

Ashlee loses her Place on Melrose

Fans of preposterous nineties soap Melrose Place will be delighted to hear that the producers of the new 'reimagining' have finally managed to entice original star Heather Locklear back to the apartment block. The bad news is that Heather's gigantic blonde mane comes at a price, and the show's makers have had to 'trim the fat' elsewhere to afford the big homecoming.

So spare a thought for
Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, who found out that she was the gristle they had in mind. Ashlee was cast in the revamped drama as Violet Foster, a small-town teenager described as "fresh off the turnip truck" who knows how to "play the sex kitten" when the situation calls for it. Hardly surprising given the fact that Melrose Place is full of characters who would tell Jenna Jameson to loosen up.

It's not the first time Ashlee has been embarrassed on a TV show. Five years ago she was the musical guest on an edition of long-running sketch show Saturday Night Live and
ended up getting laughs for all the wrong reasons. As she took to the stage to perform her single 'Autobiography', the track was started too soon, before Ashlee had a chance to lift her microphone. It didn't take the audience long to realise that Ashlee was miming the whole thing. Ever the pro, Ashlee danced a little jig to fill in, then fled the stage. At the end of the show she had the decency to apologise for the error - only to blame it on her band playing the wrong song.

In the intervening years, it doesn't sound like Ashlee has grown any more gracious. According to rumours on the Melrose set, Ashlee was actually fired from the show because she was
acting like a 'diva' and was 'deeply disliked' by her costars. An anonymous source (aren't they always?) alleged that Ashlee's behaviour "created a lot of discord among the cast [and] she could barely act."

The thing is, Melrose Place was all about unlikeable, selfish bitches who'd screw over their best friend and push them down the stairs for the slightest infraction. Is it so hard to believe that maybe Ashlee is a truly committed and intelligent actress, and was simply applying 
Stanislavski's method?

Given that her sister Jessica is famous for
once asking "Is this chicken what I have, or is it fish? I know it's tuna, but it says chicken. By the sea. Is that stupid?",  maybe it is a bit of a stretch...

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