Hello Sophie

Here's sexy model Sophie. She's a poor man's Denise Van Outen and she's got boobs that are bigger than her head (they're also fuller than her head). She makes Paris Hilton look like Michel Foucault. She has a tiny little air-dog that she dresses in little pink outfits. The RSPCA have been notified.

Kris makes shops look pretty for a living. He's got bird's nest hair and trousers that he stole from Russell Brand. He might be quite attractive if he didn't have the personality of a bag of wet sand. Sophie's already eyeing him (and the inevitable OK magazine coverage) up.

Noirin thinks she's gorgeous and she may have a point. She lives her life according to the ten commandments. Apart from loving herself, being vainer than Snow White's stepmum and showing off her flange in a nightclub. She has very pretty blue shoes. Oh dear - first upset of the night as Sophie sees her 'hottest housemate' profile starting to slip. Poor thing.

Cairon seems like a slightly less annoying (and slightly more American) Science. He fancies himself as something of a street philosopher, and he hates back-stabbing, two-faced people. Which makes me wonder whether he's in the right show. Time will tell.