Sunday, 16 January 2011

Kirstie's weighing in

It must be great to be Charlie Sheen. A famous family to make the career break easier, tons of cash for some of the least demanding performances in cinematic history, and an insatiable appetite for sex with women whose names invariable end in 'i'. Simply sprinkle with snortable powder and leave to soak in a bottle of Krug.

While other celebrities get the third degree for writing Tweets in upper case, Charlie could murder a hooker and travel the world as a drugs mule, and people would simply roll their eyes and say "That's Charlie!" It's become part of his schtick, like Meryl Streep's accents or Jennifer Aniston's hair.

Or, at least, that used to be the case. It seems as though even Hollywood is starting to tire of Charlie's consequence-free living. Given her own long-term struggles with her own lifestyle choices, it's hardly surprising that Kirstie Alley has fired the first shot.

When news broke that Charlie was holed up in Hugh Hefner's Sky Villa inside the Fantasy Tower at the Palms Casino Resort, few people exressed much surprise. The $40,000 a night suite can hold up to 250 people, and it sounds as though the headcount comprised of 249 porn stars and Charlie.

As well as a selection of Playboy artwork, selected by Heff himself, the accomodation includes an outdoor terrace with cantilevered Jacuzzi tub, personal massage room, dry sauna and an eight-foot, round, rotating bed with mirrored ceiling. Las Vegas is clearly where taste and subtlety take their holidays.

For some reasons, Charlie's constant cavorting has upset Kirstie enough for her to publicly decry his debasing instincts on Twitter. The ever-increasing actress took to the site to tell Sheen "you have two beautiful girls… PERHAPS for the sake of these children you can decide to QUIT hanging with PORN STARS & HOS".

Kirstie's own battles with over-eating and weight gain have been well documented - she even created a new sitcom called Fat Actress to showcase her titanic range. And ass. So it's a little odd that she would take to a public forum to criticise someone else for showing poor impulse control. OK, Charlie has a thing for starlets and ho's - Kirstie prefers Ho Hos. Not to mention Ding Dongs, Twinkies and Suzy Q's

Kirstie's original tweet was, perhaps unsurprisingly, championed by Charlie's not-entirely-over-it ex-wife Denise Richards, who replied saying "that would be a good start." Buoyed by the note of approval from her one-time screen daughter, brave Kirstie added "I got your babies backs...", but presumably hit 'tweet' before adding the word 'ribs'. 

Until Charlie's ready to admit that he's got a problem, there's not really very much that anyone can do. His bosses may be concerned that his lifestyle could be harming his health, but until it impacts on his work, they're unlikely to stage an intervention. In the meantime, Kirstie should probably keep her nose out of other people's business, and her fork out of their cheesecake. 


  1. What's wrong with Ding Dongs!?

  2. Nothing at all. She's clearly a big fan