Thursday, 10 September 2009

She works hard for the money

Another weekday, another fame-hungry trollop kissing her dignity goodbye by appearing on Jeremy Kyle to talk about her car-wreck of a life. Only this time, it's not a velour-tracksuit wearing scrape-face trying to convince her recently paroled paramour that he's the father of her baby, it's celebrated supermodel Sophie Anderton.

Plucking her career management tips from the same well-thumbed volume that Katie Price has been perusing recently (cage fighter dating, rape inventing, ex-husband slating - looking good so far), Sophie has decided that Jeremy Kyle is the ideal platform for personal redemption.

In a special edition entitled 'Celebrities Exposed - the truth behind the headlines', the titchy televised Tourquemada grilled Sophie about her troublesome past and her long history of cocaine abuse. Sophie admitted, in a roundabout sort of way, that she 'probably' slept with men for money in order to keep herself in blow. She added: "I was very promiscuous and I did sleep with a lot of guys and not remember their names the next day. That's what drugs do to you. I really don't remember much about that time."

Of course, if she does want to jog her memory, she could always just re-read the gruesomely embarrassing transcript of the News Of The World's now-famous sting operation. Assuming she doesn't cringe so hard that she slips a vertebrae, she'd recall how she told undercover reporter Mazher Mahmood (apparently the go-to guy for any news story that needs a fake Sheik): "I'm buying a place at the moment so things are tight. I just think short term, and at the end of the day nobody gets hurt... Spanking is cool. But I'm not into any kinky shit, to be honest."

Alternatively, she may wish to revisit her 2004 diary, when she was forced to admit that she'd received £5,000 for sleeping with a client, arranged by a Florentine brothel madam. Both of these incidents are well documented, and suggest that if Sophie's going for the tell-all approach, she could maybe try being a little less evasive with the truth.

Most people find themselves forced into prostitution when all their other options dry up. In fact, just yesterday, The Sun carried a story about a WPC who went on the game to supplement her police income while on maternity leave. Sophie, on the other hand, was saving up for a three-bedroomed house in Notting Hill and managing a £1,000 a week drug habit. Hardly the desperation that drives most into the world's oldest profession.

These days there's a whole generation of attractive young women whose sole goal is to land a wealthy footballer so they can lead of life of Manolo-heeled leisure. Although they may not stipulate an hourly rate up-front, there's still a trade-off taking place. Maybe Sophie's biggest mistake was being honest about it.


  1. who do you think...10 September 2009 at 18:29

    Designer: do you like the design?
    Client: I want the logo bigger and nearer her fanny

  2. I hadn't noticed - I tend to steer clear of the hoof area.
    Nice comment though!