Holly wouldn't

Model, TV star and one of the "top Hooters girls of all time", Holly Madison is still getting over her ex. Like most people who've gone through a tricky break-up, she feels that her self-esteem has taken a beating and she's finding it hard to love again.

The difference is, Holly's ex is serial bimbo-diddler and owner of the finest dressing gown collection on earth, Hugh Hefner.

In an exclusive interview with PopEater that redefines the term 'no shit Sherlock', the dopey D-cupper seems surprised that being one of seven long-term, live-in girlfriends of a heroically horny octogenarian wasn't great for her self-esteem. Even the auspicious accolade of being chosen as Hef's "#1 Girl" wasn't enough to combat her insecurities.

Perhaps it didn't help that, in Holly's own words, "I was comparing myself to the other girls... You have to look a certain way at the mansion. If you look at Hef's girlfriend now, she basically looks like a clone of me. It's kind of weird."

But when it comes to Hef, there's a whole lot of weird to work through - multiple girlfriends, age gaps that could comfortably accommodate three generations and those cheesy cameo appearances in any film or TV show that happens to shoot in the greater Los Angeles area.

Not to worry though, Holly's seen the light and is ready to turn her life around. "I wouldn't consider more surgery - unless my body implodes after I have kids!" she says, betraying a woeful ignorance of the human birthing process.

She also claims that "Beauty is truly on the inside. Looks don't define you..." - a noble sentiment indeed. But one which sounds more than a little insincere coming from someone whose entire career and identity is tied up in how they look, and the changes they had to make to get that way.