Tuesday 10 August 2010

Quit while you're ahead

Come on, admit it. We've all done it. One minute we're standing in a newsagents, handing over a couple of coins and taking our Lotto tickets. The next, we're imagining the magical moment our numbers are called.

But it's not just the huge house, the supercars and the round-the-world trips that we dream about. It's the moment when we get to tell the boss what he can do with his job.

Weirdly, it doesn't even seem to matter whether we actually enjoy our job, or have a soft spot for the guy in the big leather seat. We all harbour fantasies of throwing down a resignation letter and inviting him to take part in the kind of oral/anal interface usually reserved for specialist adult entertainment.

Maybe we're all just drama queens at heart, and crave the kind of dramatic exit that Julia Roberts enjoyed when she flounced out of that snooty dress-shop in her wide-brimmed hat. If that's the case, then today is an important day for all of us, as two very different people hit the headlines for quitting in spectacular, web-friendly fashion.

In these tough recessionary times, we're all under considerable pressure to tow the line. With fewer jobs to go round, no-one wants to risk rocking the boat for fear of directing it straight into an iceberg. So let's take a few moments to honour Steven Slater and Jenny X (real name unconfirmed) who decided that they simply weren't going to take it anymore.

For this plucky pair, quitting meant turning themselves into instant internet celebrities. Forget about desultory exit interviews and a quick drink after work - Steven and Jenny showed the world how it's done.

The former was a long-serving air steward on JetBlue, who endured one too many abusive rants from an objectionable passenger. Instead of swallowing his pride and retreating to the staff kitchen to bitch about the great unwashed, Scott grabbed the intercom, and boldly announced "To the passenger who called me a motherfucker, fuck you. I've been in this business 28 years. And that's it, I'm done."

Then he turned on his immaculately polished heel, grabbed two beers from the galley, and deployed the emergency slide, before leaping from the plane. Although he was arrested several hours later on charges of criminal mischief, reckless endangerment and trespassing, he's already amassed over 20,000 fans on facebook.

Someone else who's been giving unofficial 'quitting in style' lessons is a young woman called Jenny, who decided to tell her boss what she really thought of him using a wipeboard. In a series of 33 self-explanatory pictures (shared with everyone in her office, natch), Jenny listed her boss Spencer's many abuses.

Indignant at overhearing herself being described over the phone as a HPOA (Hot Piece Of Ass) she decided to get revenge in her own special way. As well as taking pot shots at his bad temper and even worse breath (if you can't get even, get personal), she decided to break down how Spencer spends the average week - including a remarkable 19.7 hours on Farmville.

Back in the good old days, folk heroes robbed from the rich and gave to the poor. In this brave new world at ours, they're more likely to be found reveling in their own poverty and telling the rich to go fuck themselves.

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