Saturday, 24 April 2010

Modern life is rubbish

According to a February 2009 edition of the US News & World Report, Gallup conducted a poll that found 66 percent of Americans believed in creationism. They reject Darwin and his theory of evolution, preferring to side with the notion that the Earth was created just 6,000 years ago.

To a secular nation like ours, that's a pretty astonishing statistic. However, there's an amazing video which I believe confirms the possibility of 'Intelligent Design' - since it shows how everyday human behaviour negates the very concept of 'survival of the fittest'.

If this compilation of clips is to be believed, humans are simply too stupid and accident-prone to have evolved at all. We lack the basic motor skills and powers of comprehension to maintain the most basic of existences.

It's a troubling thought, but the facts simply speak for themselves. So our thanks should go to the brave writers, directors and 'will-work-for-food' actors who make up the informercial industry.

Their willingness to place themselves in harm's way proves once and for all that we are barely sentient. Furthermore, each of us is just a couple of steps away from poisoning ourselves with undercooked eggs, slipping a disc whilst trying to scrape brownies from a baking tin, or accidentally garroting ourselves on a discarded length of garden hose.

The fight or flight instinct has no place in the modern world - instead our very survival depends upon the innovative products designed to help us as we shamble perilously through our lives.

So here's to the makers of the 'Slap Chop', the 'Potty Putter', the 'Wearable Towel' and the 'Double Chin Toner'. Without them, we'd all fall prey to those invisible toxins and pools of grease that threaten to wipe us off the face of the planet.

It's a miracle we lasted this long...

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