Thursday, 11 February 2010

Thanks for sharing

Last year it was Megan Fox who was gobbling up the column inches with an endless stream of borderline-incoherent egocentric rambling. Between the release of Transformers 2 and Jennifer's Body, it seemed that she couldn't open her pouty mouth without sticking a pair of Louboutins in there.

But Megan's motormouth is nothing compared with John Mayer, who just can't help embarrassing himself anytime someone waves a microphone in his general direction.

Although he's an acclaimed blues musician, John's media profile is largely thanks to the fact that he's been inside more Hollywood women than an egg-white omelette. Since 2006, when he began dating buxom brain-donor Jessica Simpson, John has become a tabloid staple. It reached a point where he felt the need to steer clear of drugs, clubs and red carpet events, as well as swearing off dating any more celebrities, since he felt that it was detracting him from his music.

He may have ditched the lifestyle, but he seems to be perfectly happy in the spotlight, and has been giving great copy to a bunch of journalists who must be thanking their lucky stars that there was enough tape in their dictaphone.

Amongst the recent revelations, he's told interviewers that he masturbates at an Olympian standard, has a 'white supremacist dick' and compared old-flame Jessica to "sexual napalm". Although I'm not sure whether that means she was incendiary and destructive, or just that he liked the way she smelled first thing in the morning.

He's even weighed in on his fellow celebrities, claiming that Tiger Woods' only mistake was being married: "Tiger Woods' problems come from him being married. The end. If Tiger Woods was single, and he texted a girl and said 'I wanna wear your ass like a hat,' why would that ever hit the news?"

Unfortunately, this rambling, say-anything approach has finally landed him in hot water, with some racially charged language in a Playboy interview upsetting quite a few people. Given the fallout, it's hardly surprising that Mayer has tucked his overworked tail between his legs and apologised for forgetting what he's supposed to be famous for.

As well as grinding his Nashville concert to a halt to issue a tearful mea culpa to his audience, he took to twitter to explain his motivation: “It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it.”

He might not have the stomach for it, but old habits die hard. As he once sang on his debut album, “My stupid mouth has got me in trouble, I said too much again.”

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