Monday 24 August 2009

She's one of us

It's time to break out the world's smallest violin for Cindy Crawford. It turns out that cellulite, that scourge of the ordinary woman, has finally infiltrated Olympus. You can just picture the scene - Athena, Aphrodite and Cindy C, taking time off from interfering in the lives of mortal men to look for cottage cheese dimples in the mirror.

It wasn't always this way. For over a decade Cindy represented the peak of physical perfection, as she strutted the world's catwalks, and seemed to appear on every other page of the fashion magazines in unattainably expensive clothes. In the words of fashion designer, Michael Kors: "Cindy changed the perception of the ‘sexy American girl’ from classic blue eyed blonde to a more sultry brunette with brains, charm, and professionalism to spare."

In the process, she also managed to snag one of the world's most desirable men in the form of husband Richard Gere. But a bitter world, enraged with jealousy at the sight of such absolute zero of gorgeousness, conspired to divide the super pair.

Lazy speculation about their sex life led the terrific twosome to take the unprecedented step of taking out a full page ad in The Times, declaring their heterosexuality and love for each other:
"We are heterosexual and monogamous and take our commitment to each other very seriously. Reports of a divorce are totally false. We remain very married." And they lived happily ever after... for almost a year. When they did eventually split in 1996, no same-sex partners or rodents were rumoured to be involved.

As well as creating a best-selling series of exercise videos aimed predominantly at young, male multi-taskers, Cindy also took Hollywood by storm in the Joel Silver-produced Fair Game. Sadly, the film was not a big hit, denying audiences the chance to marvel as heroic District Attorney Kate McQuean successfully outran a car doing sixty miles-an-hour, and took far more showers than could possibly be considered dermatologically beneficial.

Now happily married to business mogul (and acquitted harasser) Rande Gerber, Cindy is content to be a wife and mother. But in choosing the life of a mortal, she finds herself susceptible to the cruel vicissitudes of ageing.

Which is why she's featured on the cover of Redbook this month, talking about getting older. "I have cellulite, I admit it. But sometimes I just say, 'Screw it, I am going to wear a bikini.'" It's that kind of selfless bravery that must inspire other plain, frumpy, middle-aged women to cast off their kaftans and let the sunshine in.

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