Finger-licking good

Feeling a little peckish? If so, you might want to take a trip down to your local KFC to stock up on the new 'double down' sandwich, which manages to redefine food as we know it.

No stranger to controversy, KFC's relentless assault on the concept of the nutritious balanced diet came under attack several years ago with one of the most compellingly believable urban legends in living memory.

According to the widely spread hoax, 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' was rebranded KFC, but not because they wanted to move away from unhealthy associations with fried food. In fact (or not as the case may be), the name change came about because the food KFC was serving could not be legally defined as 'chicken'. Instead, the story alleged that Colonel Sanders was chopping up genetically modified organisms (refully bred with no beaks, no feathers, and no feet) to maximise the meat-to-animal ratio.

Thankfully, good sense prevailed, and after an initial flurry of emails people realised that this was utter nonsense. Especially since no-one has ever complained about an over-abundance of meat in their bargain bucket. Still, nothing sells quite like scandal, so the poultry-plundering empire must be delighted to have scored so much PR off the back of its latest food innovation.

The 'Double Down' sandwich is a truly revolutionary concept in colon-clogging catastrophe. This is is a sandwich with a rich bacon, cheese and special sauce filling that has cunningly replaced bread with two deep-fried chicken pieces.

Advocates of the carbohydrate-dodging Atkins diet can therefore stuff themselves silly with a bread-free tower of processed protein and deep-fried fats. Now, doesn't that sound like just what the Colonel ordered?

If nothing else, this bizarre menu item makes me respect the almost paranormal insight displayed by the good people at The Onion. Three years ago, they ran a spoof report entitled "Meat Now America's No. 2 Condiment". According to a made-up quote by Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns:

"In the past several years, meat's use as a way to enhance the flavor of foods has increased exponentially. Ketchup is still number one, but at the rate people are putting meat on top of other meats and foods, it may very well surpass it by 2010."

Funny how life has a habit of imitating art...