Thursday, 21 May 2009

Suffer the children

In this week's Apprentice, we were treated to the sight of 'Heelarious', high-heeled shoes for babies in a range of gaudy patterns that would be perfect if you wanted your toddler to look like Bet Lynch. Unsurprisingly, this dubious footwear has provoked its fair share of controversy, provoking debate about people's desire to strip children of their innocence at an early age. Apparently, whorish footwear isn't every parents' dream for their little ones.

So I thought it was a weird co-incidence that the BBC announced today its plans to create a spin-off of its Wednesday night ratings juggernaut, featuring contestants in their teens, to air in 2010.

Why wait until you've built a successful career, when you can screw up your entire future prospects while you're still studying for your A-levels?

Most teenagers have a special brand of obnoxiousness brought about by fluctuating hormones and a preposterous sense of entitlement, so I suppose it makes sense that they be decked out in braces and thrust in front of the cameras to learn about humility the hard way. It's going to be like Brat Camp, but with more 'thinking outside the box'.

Still, after seeing proper 'professionals' confuse Kosher with Halal, try to sell mild Cheddar to the French, and masturbate the legs of a trampoline, its safe to say that our next generation of apprentices can't do any worse than we've already seen. Some of them may even manage to be likeable, a task that has proved to be way beyond the capabilities of this year's contestants.

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