The meaning of artifice

Sometimes, we change our minds. Last week I wrote about the controversy that had erupted over the spat between Miss California Carrie Prejean and celebrity blogger Perez Hilton. At the time I argued they were both as annoying as each other, and tried to avoid taking sides. Now I'd like to restate my position. As irritating as I find Perez, at least he's consistent. Carrie, however, is something different entirely.

First, let's talk vanity. Carrie took a question from the judges that saw her explode into the national consciousness by 'daring to stick to her beliefs'. Problem is, she seems to pick and choose when her faith applies. It was revealed this week that her funbags were paid for by the bosses behind the Miss California pageant. Call me a traditionalist, but if you're going to harp on about your faith and being raised with traditional beliefs, you maybe don't want to do it as you're getting used to the feel of a couple of silicon blobs recently inserted into your breast tissue.

But my disdain for Ms Prejean runs deeper than that. Despite her protests that she 'didn't want to cause offence' and was just speaking about how she was raised, events in the last week have shown just how disingenuous she's being.

Twittering about her frustrations post-Perez, Carrie decided to talk about her hero, a young girl who was murdered in the Columbine massacre. Carrie bleats that the girl was asked if she believed in God, and when she answered 'yes' she was shot. In the bleached bimbo's brain this clearly constitutes a powerful metaphor - young innocent declares her faith and is publicly asassinated for it. How she must empathise. Except, none of it was actually true.

Guardian journalist Andrew Gumbel wrote an article recently exploding some of the myths around Columbine. It turns out, the legend of Cassie Bernall was a fake. Although a recent convert to Christianity at the time of her death, she was never interrogated about her faith before being shot. Instead, it was a girl called Valeen Schnurr who was asked if she believed in God. She answered 'yes' and was spared. But we can't expect Miss Prejean to know, or indeed care. It doesn't suit the point she's trying to make.

But there's more. It turns out that Carrie has gone to Washington to help launch a campaign opposing same-sex marriage. She told NBC's "Today" show that she'll be working with the National Organization for Marriage to "protect traditional marriages." No-one has ever managed to articulate exactly what threat gay marriage poses to its heterosexual counterpart, even its most outspoken critics.

Nonetheless, Carrie is here to 'help save' marriage, by actively campaigning to exclude people from it. All of which makes her proclamations that she didn't want to offend or upset ring a little hollow. So although she talks 'live and let live', her actions seem to imply something entirely different.

Perhaps Perez was right. Maybe she's just a bitch.