Caveat Emptor

That's latin folks, for 'buyer beware'. It's a standard cautionary phrase, deployed whenever a purchase looks too good to be true, or when there's a hidden catch.

Funnily enough, it's a phrase that sprung to mind the moment it was announced that Michael Jackson was set to stage a 50-night residency at the O2 arena.

Given that the self-proclaimed 'King of Pop' was only able to squeak out two lines of 'Heal The World' last time he took to the stage in 2006, the idea of a two-hour epic concert seemed a little unrealistic. The man has all the strength of a dormouse crushed under a boot, and the vocal prowess of sneeze in a tissue.

The truth, as they say, will out - and now facts are starting to emerge about what ticket-holders can expect. It's a stunning roll-call of lookalikes, tribute acts and additional performers, all of which should hopefully distract people from the fact that, according to Holy Moly, MJ is only contracted to appear for 13 minutes per show.

The latest news is that Michael may or may not have skin cancer, which is weird for someone who doesn't actually appear to have skin. Either way, it sure sounds like someone gathering together a pile of sick notes in advance of something they really don't want to do.