The world's biggest intervention

He may have starred in three of America's most popular shows, but David Hasselhoff still has his fair share of demons. After almost three decades of stardom he's amassed several generations of fans, and now his ex-wife is calling on them to help instigate a public intervention.

In the eighties he boasted a nice line in snug jeans and a pithily sarcastic Trans-Am. In the nineties he traded in the gay car for a bevy of ex-Playboy bunnies and spent his summers running up and down Malibu Pier in an equally snug pair of red shorts. Now, in the noughties, he sits on the judging panel of America's Got Talent, where the outfits may be roomier (at last) but his sidekicks shift a lot fewer calendars. Half-naked Piers Morgan anyone? Didn't think so.

Although AGT regularly wins the ratings war, David's own battle with the bottle is proving a lot less successful. His drinking problem first became public news when he got kicked out of Wimbledon in the summer of 2006 for being drunk and abusive, weeks later he was thrown off a British Airways flight. Of course, the papers lapped it up because nothing sells quite like a celebrity in full-blown meltdown.

Things took a more serious turn last week when the 57-year old was hospitalised after getting hammered at home. A disturbing recording was even released of his daughter Hayley's panicked 911 call to the emergency services - almost as disturbing as the recordings that Hasselhoff has released over the years.

Following the lead set by Candy Spelling, David's gracefully aging ex-wife Pamela Bach has done what any concerned family member would do - she's gone public: "The despair—feeling hopeless and unable to believe that things can ever change with David's alcoholism over the years—has affected our whole family. We want our lives to be different, but nothing we have done has brought about change."

Most interventions involve a handful of aggrieved relatives and some bitter recriminations, whereas this is an international call for "David's fans, supporters and handlers" to "save this wonderful man's life". I suppose it's nice that Pamela's been able to move past the ugliness of their divorce, when she accused him of breaking her nose (although the photos suggest it was more of a surgical procedure) and calling her a "bitch", "whore" and a "slut".

If David does decide to get some much-needed help, at least he can be sure that he can afford the treatment. His latest innovative moneymaking venture is a personalised greeting card service. For just $15 you could order an exclusive Hasselhoff Christmas card featuring a shirtless Hoff posing in an open Santa coat and holding a surf-board. As if the picture wasn't enough of an incentive, David promises fans "You choose the name and write the message (nothing too naughty!) and it will appear in an exact replica of my handwriting..." It's enough to make anyone hit the bottle.

The diva and the darkness

In the run-up to Christmas, everyone with a new album to plug is coming out of the woodwork in an attempt to drum up some publicity. In recent weeks Robbie Williams, Whitney Houston, Michael Buble, Alexandra Burke and Westlife have all rocked up on the X-Factor stage (in varying states of sobriety) to showcase their new material. Even resident judge Cheryl Cole had a go, performing whilst dressed as the little drummer boy after a battle with a shredder.

Unfortunately, for acts like Katherine Jenkins (whose operatic stylings have become the soundtrack to a million tedious dinner parties and drives to the gymkhana) it's a little harder to find the right platform to advertise their wares.

So far, the stunning Welsh warbler has proved fairly effective at finding an audience thanks, in part, to a symbiotic relationship with the Daily Mail, which at one point portrayed itself as her self-appointed media guardian. After all, they were the ones who kick-started her career with a free CD in The Mail On Sunday - perhaps there were no 8-track Simply Red concert recordings to give away that week.

Unfortunately, Katherine's later revelations about drug use jarred with the paper's readership and suddenly its coverage of the deep-throated soprano took a more critical turn.

Making matters worse, Katherine's burgeoning success meant some changes needed to be made. So it was out with the old and in with the new, as she ditched the manager who'd first put her on the map and signed with major representation that could help her crack the notoriously difficult US market.

Managing to speak, even with a mouthful of sour-grapes, dumped Svengali Brian Lane told the Mail "Sometimes when an artist becomes successful, they start to believe their own hype. I’ve managed a lot of people but I’ve never had anything like this happen before." Given that the other 'artists' on Brian's roster included Yes and Daley Thompson, it's likely he was telling the truth.

With Brian now a distant memory, and the Mail keen to portray her as the Mariah Carey of Classic FM, Katherine's having to find new ways of publicising her new album. Even so, it's a little strange that she'd choose Piers Morgan's Life Stories in which to do it. Especially since the story that has been leaked to the press ahead of the broadcast is Katherine tearfully recalling a terrifying encounter with a would-be rapist.

Katherine's records are an acquired taste at the best of times, but they're rendered almost unlistenable when combined with the mental image of her fighting off a sex attacker in an alleyway. Next time, maybe she can just spring for a few more 30 second TV spots, and maybe a shuffle round the floor on Strictly Come Dancing.

Pots and kettles

Russell Brand must be feeling on top of the world right now. Not only is he busy filming a spin-off from Forgetting Sarah Marshall (reprising his break-out movie role), he's also been been booked to revisit another highlight of his career. MTV recently announced that Russell was going to be asked back to host the Video Music Awards in September.

Despite raising some eyebrows last year by joking about the Jonas Brothers' chastity pledge and tearing into the outgoing president, he was sufficiently popular to be worth a second go. But not everyone's pleased about it.

Piers Morgan, the ex-editor and media whore has told OK! magazine that he thinks Brand is vile and disgusting. Without a trace of irony, the braying talent show judge admitted that he couldn't understand the comedian's appeal or his ambitions for success in the States: "That whole Russell Brand thing, I don't get it. The idea that he is some huge international acting star is ridiculous! He's just a long-haired ex-junkie and shagging addict."

Despite having a face like a shoe box full of broken capillaries, Piers star has enjoyed a similarly perplexing upwards trajectory across the pond simply by tolerating a bunch of unimpressive variety acts. So it's funny that he'd attack a target so close to home. You know what they say about people in glass houses...