Watch the skies

The hateful bigots behind the 'National Organisation for Marriage' could be forgiven for congratulating themselves for their prescience last week, as it looked as though their dark predictions were finally coming true.

In case you haven't been following the news, NOM is a right wing movement dedicated to spreading hate, fear and intolerance. Somehow, they've convinced themselves that gay marriage is the biggest threat to modern life since the mushroom cloud of nuclear war.

According to their skewed logic, two men pledging their love for one another, threatened to undermine the integrity of marriage and render the entire concept obsolete. Although strangely, no such campaign was mounted against infidelity or divorce.

Inspired by the apocalyptic imagery of the Cold War, they ran a national ad campaign last year to highlight the threat to society posed by gay couples choosing to have their relationships publicly recognised in a ceremony of commitment. The ad depicted a bunch of concerned citizens (played by some of the least convincing actors outside of the home shopping network) glancing nervously at the gathering storm-clouds.

It all seemed so preposterously melodramatic, as though a thunderstorm of gay was about to shower the nation. Nonsense right?

Maybe not, at least according to last week's weather forecast for Texas. The meterologists at San Angelo, Texas' KLST station warned of a giant pink wang looming over the region, threatening to put the 'cum' in cumulonimbus and deposit a motherload of God-knows-what on the innocent people of the Lonestar state.

It's unclear whether or not the gigantic cock ever materialised, but I hope that anyone caught in the eventual downpour used the appropriate protection. Otherwise we can look forward to widespread reports of an mass outbreak of pink-eye.