Monday, 9 May 2011

Brats all folks

In just a couple of years, Justin Bieber has rocketed to global superstardom, thanks to a mop of immovable hair and Usher's benevolent grooming. In scenes reminiscent of the great BeatleMania outbreak of 1964, every public appearance is punctuated with mass outbreaks of screaming, fainting and general pubescent pandemonium. As with most of these crazes, the appeal is entirely inexplicable to anyone with fully functioning genitals, so Bieber is doing what he can to broaden his range and reach a wider audience.

He's currently in talks with Mark Wahlberg's 'people' about a role in a new film project, following on from a successful appearance in CSI last year. However, although his performance was reviewed favourably, his on-set behaviour didn't win him any new fans among the cast.

The two episodes in question, saw the pop-moppet being brutally gunned down, screen-shots of which temporarily raised the spirits of a generation immune to Bieber-fever. But it's what happened on-set that seemed to rankle his more experienced co-stars.

According to Marg Helgenberger, who recently spoke to French Magazine Le Grand Direct des Medias, "...he was kind of a brat. He was very nice to me, but he locked one of the producers in a closet... and put his fist through a cake that was on the craft service table."

This isn't the first time that Bieber's 'youthful exuberance' has hit the headlines - just a couple of weeks ago, he was labeled a security risk by a Qantas flight attendant after ignoring the warnings to stay in his seat. To be fair, maybe he just wanted to visit the pilot up-front and learn about Turkish prisons.

He also made the papers back in December when he insisted on flying a remote-controlled helicopter in Mayfair restaurant La Porte Des Indes. He even thoughtfully flew the gadget straight into his bodyguard's head. After that, I can't imagine that the big guy would be in any rush to take a bullet for his teenage charge.

Radio 1 DJ Scott Mills
is no fan either, telling Metro last year, "Seriously, someone needs to have a word with him. He’s a precocious little brat." And an Australian TV host also spoke out, having experienced an up-past-his-bedtime Bieber kicking off at the show's crew. In characteristically blunt Australian style, he described Justin's tantrum where he told one of the staff "never ever fucking touch me again", then suggested that “someone needs to drag [Justin] aside and give him a bit of a slap.” Fuck the Olympics, that's something I'd enter a ticket lottery for.

Of course, it's hardly surprising that Justin's adolescent temperament occasionally gets the better of him. Unfortunately, every time he shows off or plays up, there's a camera crew on hand to capture it. Still, if he gets hammered every time he throws a strop or starts a food fight, he could probably murder a hooker when he gets older and no-one would bat an eyelid.

In the meantime, he's always got his acting skills to fall back on, just in case the hits dry up. Even Marg managed to give him props for his efforts, showing a glimmer of kindness that her overstretched face is no longer able to register: "He's actually better than you'd think." File that one under 'damned with faint praise'.

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