Sunday, 12 December 2010

And the winner is...

So, this is it. As usual it feels like this series of X-Factor has been running since Bouncer was in Neighbours. But the conclusion is finally within our grasp. Showing just how pointless this all is, Dermot tells us that we can pre-order the winner's single on the X-Factor website, despite the fact that we don't know who's won it yet.

Matt sounds great, he's been saving his voice for this one performance. So it's a shame that the song is so forgettable I'm struggling to remember it even as I'm hearing him perform it. It's 'Many of Horror' by Biffy Clyro, and it's been given a church bells and glitter cannon make-over.

It ended with Matt dropping to his knees and almost losing his microphone in the dry ice. Louis says it's a brilliant contemporary pop song, a sure sign he's never heard of it before. Dannii's eyes are glistening with tears, and Matt's tugging at his vocal chords like they're on the verge of bursting out of his neck. Watching Matt's best bits, it's easy to see why he's in the final - he's been far and away the most consistent contestant throughout this series, but he loses a couple of points for calling Dermot "bro".

Rebecca is up now, in a beautiful autumnal glittery gown, singing Distant Dreamer by Duffy. The sixties-style arrangement suits her perfectly, and although it's another forgettable tune, she's grabbing it with both hands and kneeing it right in the pods. Here comes the key change, light show and black-clad choir. I think the Liverpool lass could have just won it. One single solitary tear running down her cheek might seal the deal. And there it is.

Time for a quick visit to Liverpool to hear categorical proof that Scousers sound much better when they sing. Coleen Rooney is also on hand to make us long for the note-perfect presenting skills of Stacey Solomon.

After a big build up that made it seem as though we might get to see Leona Lewis, we're treated to another performance from Take That. They're doing The Flood, and it's just as unremarkable as it was when they performed it a few weeks ago. Robbie's as insufferably smug as ever, shouting out "X-Factor, come ooooooooon". He even wandered off the stage to go shake hands with the judges, like they'd been granted a Royal command performance. It's very odd that Leona has gone virtually unmentioned on this series, especially given how badly some of the winners have fared since her world-conquering triumph.

And that's it. The lines are closed, it's all over. Simon and Louis are discussing their Christmas plans, since the girls are busy with their acts. And the winner is...

Matt. Although I've been a fan all the way through the series, I can't help but feel a little disappointed. Rebecca showed so much class all the way through the show, and she runs the risk of becoming another Stacey - likeable and endearing, but unlikely to pick up a record deal. And listening to Matt's 'winner's song', I'm reminded of just how forgettably irrelevant it is.

So now, it's over to the caretaker to sweep up all that glitter. Thanks for sticking with it. I'm off to listen to Duffy.

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