Self-indulgence alert

Permit me to get all reflective for a moment or two. Two years ago today, I decided (on a whim) to resurrect my dreams of writing a blog. I'd tried once before - set up a page, gave it a name, introduced myself to the world and then... nothing.

I realised, rather depressingly, that I had nothing to say. That's the biggest problem for many would-be writers; their heads are filled with ambition, but when faced with an empty screen, struggle to find something to say.

Where do you start? What gives you the authority to share your perspective on the world with a wider audience? Who's gonna care?

The first proper post I ever wrote was a movie review of the Friday 13th remake (short version: it was shit), and then I tried my hand at writing about music. But I soon realised that there are far better film and music bloggers out there.

Undaunted, I decided to take a look at the wider world of celebrity and entertainment. Again, there are a million blogs out there covering this stuff, how could I offer something different? I figured that, rather than attempt to compete with the news aggregation sites that linked to hundreds of other news sources, I should try to editorialise the things that didn't really warrant such extensive coverage.

And that's when it clicked into place. For me at least. Every day I try to find a story that piques my interest, research the subject matter, and find a way of looking at it in a different way. Sometimes it's a chance to make a few sarcastic remarks. Other times, I find myself genuinely incensed by something offensive or desperately critical. But above all, I've learned to be bolder when it comes to speaking with my own voice.

Occasionally, my political perspective or personal moral code creeps in. And the toughest thing is learning to disassociate myself from the fact that not everyone will agree with me. As I've grown in confidence, I feel the writing has improved. But people might not agree with that assertion either. Fuck 'em.

I never thought I'd make it two years - I tend to lack tenacity when it comes to committing to a project, like Katie Price and marriage. And yet here I am, 676 posts later. And I have you to thank for it.

If you've ever taken the time to click on a link and visit this page, stopped to read something on here, added a comment or forwarded a link to a friend, I'd like to say "thank you". Given the tiny audience this blog reaches, I'm sure lots of people wonder why I make the effort. But when you give your time over to a writing project, it means the world if even one person bothers to read it.

Of course, I can dream of the day when p0pvulture counts its readers in the tens of thousands, but in the meantime, I'm grateful for everyone who's ever shown a passing interest in the site.

Y'all come back now, y'hear?

Do it yourself

It's almost as if the world has actually stopped spinning. There is literally no news about anything. So what's a blogger to do?

I could try and write about Katie Price driving her hot-pink horsebox in a reckless manner. But would that really come as any surprise?

How about covering Pete Doherty's arrest over cocaine possession? That's like the Pope being arrested for wearing robes.

Oooh, hang on a minute. Lord Sugar has announced that the new Apprentice hopefuls are all 'credible'. Nope, can't really do anything with that either. They're all likely to be slick of hair, loud of mouth and wide of tie.

This is the problem with writing a daily blog - you're dependent on interesting or surprising things happening. Without them, it's just a random selection of words with little or no reason for being.

Since the celebrities of the world are unwilling to cooperate today, here's a 'build your own p0pvulture' - simply choose your own elements and chuckle away.

First, pick a name:

Katie Price, Amy Winehouse, Paris Hilton, Liz Jones, David Hasselhoff, Simon Cowell, Susan Boyle, Angelina Jolie, Demi Moore, Madonna, Jan Moir, Ann Coulter, Beth Ditto, Lady Gaga, Christina Hendricks, Louis Walsh, Posh Spice, Cheryl Cole, David Beckham.

Now choose a news item:

Cheating, smuggling, whoring, snorting, lying, quoting, slamming, driving, drinking, drinking and driving, adopting, bitching, Tweeting, auditioning, interviewing, singing, judging.

Kick off your sentences with a few loose conjunctions:

However, given that, on the other hand, with this in mind, nonetheless, it's funny, surprisingly, unsurprisingly, predictably, with, but and although.

Then finally throw in a few similes, a little alliteration and a couple of snippy remarks at the end of every other paragraph.

It's that easy. Let me know how you get on. And if you have any ideas for new posts, please let your blogger know...

p0pvulture comes of age

Well, it's finally here - the 500th post. When I started this blog it was an experiment to see if I had the discipline to write something every day. And, with the exception of a few days where work or excessive alcohol consumption got in the way, I've managed to stick to my guns.

Of course, I probably wouldn't have bothered, were it not for the comments and encouragement I've received from all the people who, for whatever reason, have clicked on a link somewhere and spent a few minutes with p0pvulture. So thanks to everyone who stopped by, I hope you'll continue to frequent this grubby little corner of the interweb.

I've been trying to think about what today's post should be about. As usual it's something of a slow news day. Kerry Katona's been out and about in a pair of leggings, the youngest Kardashian sister is causing a stir with a sexy, jailbait photoshoot and Lady Gaga's on the front of Vanity Fair alongside some utterly nonsensical headlines that look as though they were written by an 'English as a second language' student. All gripping stuff, I'm sure you'll agree.

But in keeping with the whole "I'd like to thank..." Oscar speech tone of this post, I thought I'd give a few shout-outs to the great sources of information that inspire the stories on here. People often ask where I find 'this stuff', so consider this a peek behind the scenes. I shamelessly use their content in writing the blog (although I always post links to the original stories) but I thought it was worth mentioning them by name. You might even become a regular reader of some of them.

DListed is a snarky, sarcy and hilarious blog by Michael K who, as well as being one of the funniest people I've ever read, is also a bit of a cutie. He's created a whole 'slanguage' of his own, and managed to rename virtually every pointless celebrity that ever managed to score a feature in People Magazine. With countless new stories uploaded every day, he's such a prolific writer that he makes James Patterson look like JD Salinger.

Towleroad is another gay blog, but with less emphasis on bitchy putdowns and more focus on political issues around the world. It's well written, authoritative and the worthy winner of several blogger awards. Great links to all sorts of other content as well, the phrase 'you read it here first' could have been coined by Andy Towle, the site's creator.

Holy Moly (which most of you will already know) started out as an illustrated alternative to Popbitch, featuring blind items, idiotic celebrity quotes and random weirdness. It's now more like the bastard offspring of Perez Hilton and Heat Magazine - no bad thing in itself. Its readers (or at least the ones who comment on the stories) seem to be a fairly misanthropic bunch, wishing all kinds of ill-harm on the celebrities they enjoy reading about. But the copy is always funny, and they seem to get their hands on the paparazzi pictures before anyone else.

Of course, I have to also mention the Daily Mail which proudly flies the flag for bitter, acrimonious, poorly researched journalism. My distatste for the Mail, and everything it stands for, is no surprise to anyone who's spent more than five minutes reading this blog. People often ask why I read its website if I hate it so much - isn't that like repeatedly sticking my head in the oven to see if the gas is still on? Firstly, the Mail does a great job of aggregating the celebrity stories from around the world, even if it does maintain a toxic level of disdain for everyone that isn't Jerry Hall or Joan Collins. Secondly, its editorial style, and outspoken columnists mean that there's always an argument ripe for picking.

Big Hollywood is another resource that's as much an irritant as it is an information source. Established by right wing publisher Andrew Breitbart, the site was intended to offer a voice to conservatives working in the movie industry who feel underrepresented and excluded. In fact, it's a place where reactionary writers and woefully unfunny (we're talking Russ Abbot-levels of humourlessness) comedians come to pour scorn on anything involving the environment, feminism, racial equality, gay rights or non-Christian beliefs. The comments section under each post are worth a look, if only to see how widespread a problem mental instability seems to be in the US.

OK, that's enough negativity. Let's also give thanks for Digital Spy, which is the UK's fourth largest British entertainment website, with over two million unique users. It covers pretty much anything that happens in the world of celebrity, and I do mean 'everything'. For instance, an average day might feature six different 'news' stories about Katie Price, one for every time she opens her mouth. Unfortunately, in the rush to break stories first, the site doesn't always check its sources - so many of its stories open with "it's rumoured that..." or "according to an insider..." As a consequence, Digital Spy has more retractions than a Stanley knife, given that approximately half its 'news' content involves someone repudiating a story that's already run.

A few honourable mentions should also go to chud.com (for interesting, if slightly 'fanboy' film news), AfterElton (gay and lesbian news blog, and a daily picture of men in their pants), Popjustice (the world's best pop music site) and E!Online (which is great for celebrity gossip, despite its unhealthy obsession with the Gosselins).

Writing 500 posts may have been hard work, but it's made immeasurably easier thanks to these great information sources. So thanks to them for the inspiration, and thanks to you for reading. Meet you back here for the 1000th...

This one's for you

Today is p0pvulture's first birthday. If I'm completely honest, I didn't expect the blog to last this long - in fact, based on my previous record, it was unlikely to live out its first week.

But here we are, one year later, and still going. This isn't a proper post it's really just a bookmark to signify a point in time.

I've loved writing this blog for the last 365 days, even though it's sometimes felt like a bedazzled albatross around my neck. But as long as people keep reading it, I'll keep writing it.

Please make use of the comments boxes, follow me on Google, or add yourself as a Facebook fan. Make requests, feedback and share it with anyone who might get a couple of minutes' enjoyment from it.

When I first started, I wasn't sure what this blog was going to be about. Looking back at those early posts I'm a little embarrassed to see just how random and under-developed they were. The hardest thing is putting your name to something that you're asking people to spend time reading.

Thankfully, I'm lucky to have some very encouraging and supportive friends who told me it was working. That gave me the confidence to develop my style, and now p0pvulture has grown into something I'm very proud of.

So thank you. To anyone who's ever followed the site, become a fan, added a comment, suggested a story, or recommended it to a friend. My readership may be small but its perfectly formed.

Don't worry, there'll be a proper story up later.

Keep reading...