Killer instincts

After yesterday's post about the multiracial dating scene, it was interesting to see that a new controversy has emerged here in the UK on a similar theme. This time it's ITV coming under fire, after executive producer Brian True-May described the anti-diversity approach to casting on his long-running drama Midsomer Murders.

For the uninitiated, Midsomer Murders is one of those shows that seems to have been running since John Logie Baird decided that the corner of his living room looked a little empty. The formulaic detective drama depicts the adventures of Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, as he attempts to solve the weekly murders in a sleepy English county. Despite representing the last bastion of 'English genteel eccentricity', over the last fourteen years the quiet rural community has been responsible for more untimely deaths than the Jigsaw killer.

When they're not polishing the silverware or taking tea on their immaculate lawns, the people of Midsomer are busy bludgeoning, drowning or poisoning their neighbours, spouses and elderly relatives. In fact, there have been so many inexplicable deaths that most of the villages in the county would struggle to get a quorum for a residents' association meeting. It's a far cry from the rural world I grew up in, where local life would be rocked to its core if someone double-parked outside the post office.

Like Murder, She Wrote before it, the success of the show is predicated on the audience's suspension of disbelief, primarily around the likelihood of a peaceful community having a per capita murder rate that would make Mogadishu seem like a desirable place to live. But one area where the show maintains a scrupulous adherence to authenticity, lies in the exclusively white faces of its cast.

Speaking to the Radio Times, True-May said "We are a cosmopolitan society in this country, but if you watch Midsomer you wouldn’t think so. I’ve never been picked up on that, but quite honestly I wouldn’t want to change it... Well, we just don’t have ethnic minorities involved. Because it wouldn’t be the English village with them. It just wouldn’t work."

It didn't take long for campaigners and activists to condemn his comments, accusing him of "distorting the presence of black and Asian people in rural areas", and leaving production company All3Media with no choice but to suspend him. However, True-May's neighbours in the village of Great Missenden came out in defence of their aryan purity, with 63 year-old Ron Stock stating "The whole reason of the show is to depict the tiny little villages of England. There just aren’t any ethnic people around here. In everyday life in Great Missenden you wouldn’t see any at all."

Whatever you think about Brian's attitudes, maybe he has a point. Given his old-school, middle-Englander perspective, perhaps the format of the show wouldn't work with ethnic minorities. After all, it'd be almost impossible to write a compelling whodunnit if there was a black face in amongst the suspects. The team at Causton CID wouldn't even have time to whip off their overcoats before fingering the most likely culprit.

The spy who came out in the cold

If your feet are feeling a little chilly, don't worry - it's not diabetes taking its toll on your circulation. It's just that hell appears to have suddenly frozen over.

So what bizarre circumstance could possibly have initiated such shocking subterranean climate change? Well, I'm sorry to report that I find myself in agreement with a column written by the usually detestable Melanie Phillips in today's Daily Mail.

Like many people, she's aghast at the way GCHQ code-breaker Gareth Williams' death has been spun by MI6. Salacious suggestions about rent boys, cross-dressing and sex games lent a suitably seedy frisson to the investigation, despite the fact that the police renounced all these claims over the weekend.

With the Bond series mothballed due to the financial crisis faced by MGM, and no sign of a new Bourne movie on the horizon, the press rubbed their hands in glee at the prospect of a real-life espionage thriller unfolding before their beady eyes. A dead spy, code-breaking, £18k disappearing from a secret bank account - who needs the movies when shit like this is happening in real life?

So without a thought for veracity or fact-checking, the media thoughtlessly revelled in every speculative claim and distasteful detail. But the real mystery at the heart of this unfortunate story is why MI6 thought it was acceptable to misdirect the public, by sullying William's name with a bunch of sleazy and (it seems) entirely misleading claims about his "very, very private" life. Surely, the whole point of being a spy is that you live your life under the radar?

Melanie is rightfully indignant about the way this whole story has been handled, arguing "...shadowy unnamed sources started putting it about that 'bondage equipment and gay paraphernalia' were found in his flat.The implication was that his death was caused by some seedy sadomasochistic practice that went wrong. At a stroke, Mr Williams's reputation was trashed - transforming him from an unsung hero of his nation into the sordid author of his own terminal misfortune."

Of course, the Daily Mail loves nothing more than idly speculating about gays who succumb to terminal misfortune, but not when they dedicate their lives to defeating the Taliban. Or at least, that's the way Melanie sees it.

The problem is, although MI6 thought that it was perfectly acceptable to invent a gay scandal to throw the press off the scent of a story with implications on national security, the papers were more than willing to take the bait. And the Daily Mail was one of the first to go to print with its own tawdry rumour-mongering.

Melanie can wring her hands and bemoan MI6's insensitivity in causing "further and needless distress to the dead man's bereaved parents". But she has to acknowledge her own employers' complicity in the cover-up.

So even though I might agree with Melanie's disgust at the way GCHQ has attempted to smear the reputation of one of its most promising agents (with a lifestyle that, in itself, is nothing to be ashamed of) I can't help but recognise the age-old hypocrisy that lies at the heart of so much of the Mail's editorial position.

So the Daily Mail got it wrong again after all. Maybe that means that all is right with the world? Well, except for the fact that someone's out there murdering spies.

Fame can be murder

In his best-selling book Downsize This, Michael Moore argued that OJ Simpson was innocent, because he was too stupid, pampered and priviledged to risk it all on a crime of passion. Taking his idea further, he suggested that the vast majority of Hollywood's finest would never commit violent crime because they simply have too much to lose.

It's an interesting thought, even if it never popped up on Perry Mason as a viable defence option. But Michael's book was published in 1996, before the world of celebrity opened itself up to anyone with a willingness to surrender their privacy, integrity and soul in exchange for a few front covers and a house with a pool. Thanks to the explosion of reality TV, the majority of Hollywood's population is neither great nor good. So when it comes to propensity for violent crime, it seems like all bets are off.

Today's entertainment bulletins are leading with a story about a new VH1 show called Megan Wants A Millionaire. In this tasteful sounding 'game show', an avaricious tart called Megan Hauserman screens 17 single millionaires to find herself a husband.

The whole series is already in the can, but now it sounds as though it's also in the pan. Unfortunately, one of the eligible, 'stable' bachelors, Ryan Alexander Jenkins, is wanted by California police, since the naked body of his wife was found strangled and stuffed in a suitcase inside a dumpster.

Don't worry, there was no typo. When the show wrapped in late March, Ryan went to Las Vegas and met Jasmine in a strip club where she was working. They married two days later. Despite these inauspicious beginnings, it's still shocking to think that the marriage could end with such grim abruptness. The police would like to question Ryan about the murder, but he's on the lam, presumably hiding out in Canada where he's exempt from extradition for a capital crime.

Meanwhile, over on So You Think You Can Dance, producers will be reeling from the news that the show's one-time choreographer, Alex Da Silva, has been charged with eight cases of sexual assault. His alleged crimes include four seperate rapes, plus four other assaults which took place between 2002 and 2009. The victims were all aspiring dancers who met Da Silva through the dance classes he taught.

Although Megan Wants A Millionaire has been pulled from the schedules, and producers of SYTYCD will no doubt be a little skittish for a while, the long term effects of these shocking crimes will be minimal at best. After all, the old cliche about 'no such thing as bad publicity' seems to get truer with every passing day. And as long as people are willing to debase and devalue themselves in pursuit of a career in media, front page news will never be seen as anything but a triumph.