Gay for pay

If you can't get enough of vacuous, vain and self-indulgent media whores playing up to the camera, there's some good news. Gay TV channel LOGO is currently recruiting cast-members for season 2 of its hit show The A-List New York.

In case you missed it, The A-List followed the misadventures of a group of photogenic but "vapid and materialistic" gay men in the Big Apple. Tackling such hard-hitting social issues as finding a model agent, commenting on a friend's packet, and how to brief a party planner for a Gay pride bash, the show managed to prove once and for all that true equality means being just as objectionable as your heterosexual counterparts.

The show was clearly modelled on the runaway success of the 'Real Housewives' franchise, which poked cameras through the stylish drapes of women in Orange County, New York City, Atlanta, New Jersey, Washington, D.C., Beverly Hills and Miami. Think of it like the CSI brand, but with more augmented breasts and fewer scenes of forensic investigation. It'll be interesting to see whether The A-List follows a similar model, recruiting camera-hungry homos in a variety of towns across the US. Personally, I can't wait for The A-List: Tuskegee.

Like other shows in the burgeoning fly-on-the-interior-designed-wall documentary genre, the word 'reality' is subjective at best, since the characters, scenarios and hair-dos are about as believable as Will.I.Am's live vocals. Interestingly, plans for expanding the cast of the second season of The A-List illustrate just how contrived these shows are.

Rather than scouting venues and locations for interesting characters around whom the show could be woven, the new approach reads more like a conventional casting, with characters (and their motivations) already clearly mapped out. If you're a "hot young single guy who navigates the NY gay social scene with ease and might be considered a troublemaker by some people..." you might want to fill out an application.

Even better - if you're an on-the-shelf fag hag, who missed out on your chance to score a wealthy husband by never venturing outside of the West Village, there could be a role for you too. The producers are also on the lookout for a "DIVA! You're a young, fun, stylish, successful woman. That's right...we said WOMAN - as in female. Kimora, Beyonce, Mariah?...you could definitely give them a run for their money." That's right... they said MONEY.

Critics have long argued that the phenomenal success of this new breed of reality TV has sounded the death knell for traditional creative skillsets in the industry. They're concerned that shows like 'Real Housewives', 'Jersey Shore' and 'The A-List' have replaced talented writers, story editors and actors, with low-cost camera fodder. 

But as the shows' performers become stars in their own right, their cost-per-episode increases exponentially. Likewise, the fact that producers are clearly mapping out story-arcs and planning new characters, it's clear that creativity isn't dead after all. The dialogue might not be Brechtian, and the plots less sophisticated than a lazy episode of Saved By The Bell, but at least there's light at the end of the tunnel. 

Suddenly, this cheap and cheerful genre becomes something of a false economy. And that means that we might yet see a resurgence of quality drama on our screens. 

My favourite mistake

Just ask anyone who's been shoved into a pair of white tights on the Ricki Lake show - they'll tell you that makeovers don't always work. It's nice to revamp your appearance now and then, but sometimes you just end up looking like Ann Widdecombe in a ballgown. 

Which is how the brand team at GAP must be feeling after last week's aborted attempt at updating their image fell flat with the public. To be fair, brand overhauls often backfire - remember New Coke? Somebody in Atlanta figured 'If it ain't broke, fuck it up anyway', and changed the formula of a drink that had been successfully flying off the shelves for a hundred years. 

The public reaction was furious, as though their favourite soda had been replaced with a bottle of piss-flavoured mouthwash. Coca-Cola promptly went from backlash to backtrack, and promptly reintroduced 'Classic Coke'. And the world's rapidly decaying teeth were once again clenched in a satisfied grin. 

Perhaps the brand bigwigs who decided to reinvent GAP figured they'd have an easier job on their hands. The products are well made, affordably priced and reasonably stylish, but it's a tough brand to get passionate about. It's a little like adding yourself to the Facebook fanpage for Cash In The Attic or Vileda Super Mops. 

So everyone was surprised when the company unveiled its new logo last week and the public outcry began. People were horrified that so much of their beloved logo had changed - but then again, with just three letters and a blue square, there was only so much that the designer could do. 

Out went the capitalised serif font, and in came the sentence-case sans-serif alternative. Meanwhile, that all-important blue square got shoved behind the P, like an ornamental plate hanging on a pensioner's wall. 

The public reaction was swift and brutal - this was the branding equivalent of Meg Ryan unveiling her new face. GAP had no choice but to resurrect the original logo and issue a mea culpa to the waffle-sweater loving populace. 

No-one likes to admit that they've made a mistake. But the cynic in me suspects that this wasn't actually the grievous error that the press coverage would have us believe. In the end, the only thing that this exercise has proven, is that even a taupe, loose-fitting company like GAP can have an army of passionate followers. And it's managed to snag a bunch of free column inches detailing just how enthusiastic its supporters are about the brand. Someone give the PR team a pat on the back.