Stop the presses

Typical. The News of the World finally has its hands on an exclusive story that the rest of the world is dying to read about, and for once it's not about Lauren Goodger's tits, Lindsay Lohan's ankle monitor or Jason Gardiner's hair transplant. Unfortunately though, it's unlikely to affect the paper's readership figures, since this is one flagship that's already sailed. Finding itself in the unfortunate position of making the news, instead of breaking it, the News of the World has been forced to shut up shop. And Rupert Murdoch must be kicking himself about the shitty timing of this super soar-away scandal.

You might not realise this, but Murdoch wasn't always a bad guy. He may have spent the last twenty years learning how to shoot lightning bolts from his fingers, but back in the 1950s he was something of a young radical. As the son of an Australian news magnate, Murdoch's first acquisition was the Adelaide News, which was pivotal in overturning the death sentence given to an Aboriginal man called Max Stuart. Despite his belief that Stuart was guilty of the rape and murder of nine year-old Mary Olive Hattam, Murdoch was opposed to the death penalty and wrote a number of editorials and headlines in support of commuting Stuart's sentence to life imprisonment.

As Murdoch's biographer Bruce Page observed, Rupert's activism in this particular case was pivotal in defining his future career: "Murdoch galloped into action, but it was a bad fight for him. The truth is it scared him off from ever taking on governments again. He reverted to his father's pattern of toeing the line." But as his power and influence grew, Murdoch realised that it's much easier to toe the line when you're the one holding the chalk.

For years, he's been the unassailable leader of the world's second largest media conglomerate (after Disney), repeatedly bouncing back from countless attacks, even those made by commentators within his own organisation. Popular Fox shows like Family Guy and The Simpsons regularly take pot-shots at their shadowy overlord, although Matt Groening did come under fire from his corporate colleagues for depicting the inexplicably popular Fox News channel as "your voice for evil".

Despite the weight of public discontent against his propagandist techniques and love of media monopolisation, Murdoch continues undaunted in his quest to seize full control of BSkyB, with the buy-out so close his forked tongue can almost taste it. So there's a delicious irony to the fact that a crucial chink in his armour has finally been exposed by one of his own bestselling red-tops.

When the News of the World's unethical practice of phone-hacking first emerged, the outcry was somewhat muted. Although people were incensed at the paper's illegal tactic for sourcing celebrity 'exclusives', no-one was able to muster too much outrage over the fact that they'd been listening to Sienna Miller's voicemails. If someone had to endure Jude Law begging for another chance, the public figured "better them than us". Similarly, no-one got too upset that Max Clifford had been bitten by the mouth he'd been feeding.

However, things took a much darker turn last week when the full scale of the scandal was exposed. According to reports, the families of Milly Dowler, the 7/7 victims and military personnel who'd been killed in service, had also had their voicemails intercepted. Interestingly, Murdoch and his chief executive Rebekah Brooks were quick to issue carefully worded statements about the scandal. But if someone declares that the allegations are "deplorable and unacceptable", is that a criticism of the phone hacking itself, or the fact that someone has had the temerity to accuse his venerable news empire of underhand practices?

Ultimately, none of it really matters, since this is clearly a case of closing the stable door after the horse has tapped in its four-digit passcode and pressed record. Since the story broke, News Corp share prices have been dropping rapidly, leaving Murdoch with no choice but to shut down the country's favourite chip-wrapper. In a statement today, James Murdoch announced that "The News of the World is in the business of holding others to account. It failed when it came to itself. The good things the News of the World does ... have been sullied by behaviour that was wrong. Indeed, if recent allegations are true, it was inhuman and has no place in our company."

This Sunday will see the final edition of the 168-year-old newspaper hit the stands, and not a moment too soon. No doubt the Murdochs hope that this swift action will quieten the voices of discontent and smooth the passage of News Corp's satellite take-over bid. Even so, the scandal leaves us with a number of troubling issues that still need reconciling. For instance, I'd always assumed that whenever the papers ran another feature about Katie Price citing an 'unnamed source', it was Katie herself who'd been phoning the news desk to plant the story. This whole phone hacking scandal means that people like Katie may actually be innocent victims in all this. And I refuse to live in a world where Katie Price gets my sympathy.

You have been watching...

Maybe we've been spoiled by the movies. For decades, we've been treated to endless scenes of witty, urbane villains who assassinate their underlings with ruthless efficiency, and live in well-appointed modern properties with every technological convenience at their disposal. No wonder the villains are usually the most interesting characters - they've certainly made the right decisions in terms of consumer durables and real estate. Snappy dressers too.

So seeing the footage of Osama Bin Laden, released by the Pentagon following his recent death, I can't help but feel a little disappointed. For the last ten years he's been portrayed by the media as an all-powerful bogeyman, controlling an invisible network of operatives across the globe from his secret hideout. Blofeld and Hannibal Lecter weren't fit to buff this guy's sandals. Or that's what I thought, until I saw his underwhelming home movies.

Sitting in a hovel that looks like a lazy EastEnders set, Phil Mitchell's crack pipe just out-of-shot, he watches a 14-inch portable TV that wouldn't get him a fiver in Cash Converters. To make matters worse, he seems to be struggling with the EPG for his satellite. He wants to watch Al Jazeera, but I get the feeling he's just accidentally Sky-Plussed a series link for Larkrise To Candleford.

Of course, this is all pure speculation, since the intelligence officials who issued the clips to the news networks have removed all the sound. They say they don't want to help "spread the word of a terrorist", but as Gawker has pointed out, this just makes it easier for anyone with a YouTube account to help create a hilarious new meme using some shareware dubbing software.

I understand that the administration is in a no-win situation. If they don't release information and video footage, they're accused of being secretive and untrustworthy. And by issuing these clips, they've inadvertently humanised a near-mythological figure. Watching outtakes of Osama's propaganda broadcasts, we're reminded of the extended Family Guy skit that turned into a pretty sharp pastiche of Naked Gun. Hardly what we expect from our super villains.

This is not to diminish the very real threat of terrorism and extremism - but it does shed an interesting new light on the media's depiction of our enemies. Even as we label Bin Laden's films as 'propaganda', we have to mindful that we're occasionally guilty of instilling a similar bias in our own broadcasts.

Irrespective of the detail, this is still a fascinating insight into the realities of a world we know so little about. And I'm sure this isn't the last we've seen of Osama flubbing his lines or looking into the wrong camera. How long before Harry Hill gets his hands on enough material for a special edition of You've Been Framed, Assassinated and Buried At Sea? There must be loads of clips - Osama on a dicey-looking rope swing, sitting on a rotten beer garden bench, or getting whacked in the nuts by a dizzy toddler with a rounders bat.

No laughing matter

Lookout Hollywood, Sarah Palin's on the warpath again. And although she may have all the intellectual curiosity of a Kellogg's Variety Pack, the bitch knows how to handle a firearm.

Last year, David Letterman came pretty close to finding his head mounted on a plaque in Sarah and Todd's den. This time around it's Seth MacFarlane who needs to be checking over his shoulder.

As writer, executive producer and lead voice performer on Fox's Family Guy, the buck stops with him whenever his cartoon creation crosses the line. Which is pretty often really. But despite all the gay, black, Asian, hispanic, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, abortion, paedophilia and disability jokes, the show maintains an astonishingly open mind, and dares its viewers to laugh at a host of taboo-busting topics.

Last week, Family Guy became the first cartoon show to depict a character with Down's syndrome, as Chris Griffin asked out a girl from his school called Ellen, assuming she'd be kind and loving. Sadly for Chris, it turns out that Ellen is pushy, demanding and rude, leaving Chris to comment "I used to hear that people with Down syndrome were different from the rest of us but you’re not. You’re not different at all. You’re just a bunch of assholes like everyone else."

At one point during the episode, Chris asks Ellen what her parents do, and she replies that her mother is the former governor of Alaska. And that's what got Sarah Palin so hot under the plunging neckline. Because, to her, children with Down's syndrome are to be used as political props to garner sympathy and demonstrate her 'working Mom' schtick. Under no circumstances should they be shown as well-rounded, intelligent or sometimes unlikeable people.

Problem is, Sarah didn't get the joke. She didn't understand that the character of Ellen was being sarcastic when talking about her parents. But more importantly, she didn't get that the joke was on her, not her Down's syndrome child Trig.

Taking to Facebook to voice her disgust, the palm-scribbling halfwit called the episode "another kick in the gut" for her family. Just like when David Letterman made a joke about her daughter last year.

Far from making cruel jokes at the expense of children with the congenital disorder, the producers of Family Guy were actually advancing understanding of Down's syndrome, especially since they cast a Down's actress to play Ellen. Andrea Fay Friedman has spoken out about Palin's political point-scoring, telling the New York Times "In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humour and to live a normal life."

Unfortunately, I can't see Trig Palin being similarly blessed.

File under 'no shit Sherlock'

Somebody, somewhere is scratching their head thinking "Well, who saw that coming?" And the rest of the world is making its best 'mental' face in response. This week, Microsoft made the embarrassing admission that it has had second thoughts about sponsoring the forthcoming special edition of Family Guy, "Seth & Alex's Almost Live Comedy Show".

The omnipotent software giant had originally paid for the exclusive rights to the half-hour programme of sketches and shorts, performed by Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane and Alex Borstein, who plays Peter Griffin's long-suffering wife Lois. The plan was for the show to run without any ads, instead being funded by Microsoft which hoped to see its new operating system Windows 7 'seamlessly' woven into the show's content.

Although the show will still be broadcast on the 8th November, Bill Gates' baby will not be involved. A couple of weeks ago, Microsoft executives attended a recording of the show and were horrified to discover that the show's characteristic shock humour has not been watered down.

Maybe it's just too hard to work references to Windows 7 into jokes about incest, tampons and the Holocaust. Either way, the humour went down about as well as Lady GaGa being asked to pick up a new outfit in Primark.

This Monday, Microsoft stated that "We initially chose to participate in the Seth and Alex variety show based on the audience composition and creative humor of 'Family Guy,' but after reviewing an early version of the variety show it became clear that the content was not a fit with the Windows brand."

Thankfully, Family Guy has weathered tougher storms than this, having faced cancellation more times than Kerry Katona's checkbook. It's now something of a comedy institution, and has even spawned its own spin-off. But anyone who has ever watched the show would know that its association with Windows made as much sense as Baby Gap sponsoring a Gary Glitter comeback tour.

So the big question is, why did no-one at Microsoft recognise the disparity sooner?

The point of sponsorship is to find a platform that sits comfortably with your brand and your consumers. But if it's going to work, you have to prove that you're a fan too. It's no good simply picking a property that shows up in the media research as being popular with your target audience.

Unfortunately, it seems as though Microsoft still has some way to go before it's able to understand exactly how its users enjoy themselves. After all, they did feel the need to create an instructional video telling people how to throw a Windows 7 party.

Writing about Microsoft's staggeringly inept 'viral' film, Barbara Lippert noted, “They think...that people will want to host parties in their houses because it’s so great. But the script is so fake, with all the sales messages in there… if this is what they think is hip, it’s just so sad — and poignant.”

But maybe Microsoft isn't as naive as the critics are willing to assume. Perhaps they've realised that everyone loves an underdog. Could it be that all of these marketing misfires are just a really smart way of winning back the sympathy of a cynical generation, tired of Apple always getting it right? Having watched this video several times now, I'm willing to believe that anything is possible...

Who's laughing now?

There were concerns amongst the liberal comedy community that the election of Barack Obama sounded the death knell for political humour. After all, George W Bush gave satirists, humourists and general takers of piss eight years of great material. With the US finally selecting a strong, dependable and trustworthy leader, where was the comedy gold to be mined?

Recently, US network ABC premiered its new animated comedy show, The Goode Family. Created by Mike Judge, the talent behind Beavis & Butthead and King of the Hill, the show focuses on a family of environmentally-friendly, politically-correct liberals, with an adopted African son and a vegan dog. As with most new comedy shows, opinions are divided, but I'm sad to say that they're split almost exclusively along political lines.

Liberal viewers are dismayed that their uber-tolerant, ultra-considerate, worldly-wise lifestyles are being skewered on prime time TV. Irrespective of the fact that right-wing views are regularly satirised in animated shows like The Simpsons, Family Guy and American Dad. Alternatively, conservatives are falling over themselves to congratulate ABC for finally daring to poke fun at 'ditzy do-gooders' who 'care so very, very much about everything' - as though caring for things and doing good is a bad thing. They also seem to feel that, by poking fun at environmentalism, the show invalidates the concepts of sustainability and conservation.

Unfortunately, both sides are missing the point. I'm happy to remain blissfully ignorant about Mike Judge's political leanings, but early clips suggest that he is using the show to poke fun at liberal guilt and the pressure involved in always making the right choice. It doesn't really matter how he votes, as long as the humour he uses shows an inherent understanding of the issues he's portraying. In the pilot episode, the speaker in the organic supermarket announces “Attention One Earth shoppers. The driver of the SUV is in aisle four. He’s wearing a baseball cap” and the family's Toyota Prius has a bumper sticker that reads “Support our troops and their opponents.” This shows a sharp understanding of the complexities of modern life, and the way people try to do what's best, despite a conflicting sense of priorities.

A good friend of mine repeatedly reminds me that true intelligence is the ability to hold two conflicting points-of-view at the same time, and it's clear that this show understands that principle. So even if I see myself as the butt of many of the jokes, I hope the show lives long enough to find its audience.