For your entertainment, or not

Pop quiz hotshot. What's worse - love for men or violence against women? If you're having to think about the answer you're probably reading the wrong blog. Maybe you should try Richard Littlejohn instead. Still here? Good, then I'll continue.

Over in the States there's been a big kerfuffle this last week thanks to Adam Lambert's 'shocking' performance at the American Music Awards. On the eve of his debut album's release he treated TV audiences to a performance that looked more like an out-take from Showgirls. It was all girls in leathers, boys on leashes and more faux-rock posturing than the national Air Guitar championships.

In amongst all the PG-rated depravity, Glambert stuck his crotch in the face of a male dancer and then sucked face with his male keyboard-player. Shocking stuff? Maybe if this was 1983 or the launch of a Billy Graham book tour. But in the world of modern world of rock 'n' roll it was about as edgy as a low-fat bran muffin.

Unfortunately, this is the US we're talking about. And even though Adam's performance aired at 10.45pm, disturbed viewers were soon clogging the phone-lines to register their disgust at Adam's gayness.

In total, 1,500 complaints were made, along with statements made by people like the ironically named 'Liberty Counsel' who argued that "ABC should have to pay a hefty penalty to the FCC for assaulting its viewers with a debased performance." Nothing says liberty like censorship and retribution.

Worse was still to come for the lambasted Lambert, as he was promptly disinvited by the producers of Good Morning America. Understandably concerned that Adam may start rubbing himself all over the weatherman, they ditched him from their line-up claiming he was an "unpredictable performer" - as though that could be anything but a good quality in a rock star.

Adam's response was right on the money shot: “I think that there’s a double standard going on in the entertainment community right now. Female performers have been doing this for years — pushing the envelope about sexuality — and the minute a man does it, everybody freaks out."

Making matters worse, however, was GMA's decision to replace Adam Lambert (whose only crimes are a falsetto that can worry dogs and a skip full of used mascara brushes) with Chris Brown. In the eyes of network television executives, domestic violence is much more acceptable than some light leather-clad frottage. Now that's really 'distasteful'.

Hard man goes soft

R&B singer Chris Brown is on a journey of contrition as he tries to make up for the fact that he beat up his girlfriend, Barbadian singer Rihanna, on the eve of this year's Grammy Awards.

In a televised interview with Larry King, he discussed the terms of his probation and insisted that it was a one-off incident that wouldn't happen again, which must come as a big relief to any woman who's ever nursed a bruised face to promises that "It'll never happen again." Bizarrely, the 20-year old also made a point of distancing himself from his stepfather, who he watched regularly beat his own mother, insisting they're nothing like each other.

Suggesting that he may have been a musical prodigy, but never cracked a book in English literature classes, Chris compared his relationship with Rihanna to 'Romeo and Juliet'. And we all know how well that story turned out.

Still, he's been making amends for talking with his fists, and has been busy removing graffiti, picking up rubbish and washing cars as part of his sentencing. In total, he'll do 180 days of community service and will attend a year's worth of domestic violence counselling. He's also done the rounds talking to the media about how sorry he is and saying, hey, give me a break, I'm young. The hope is that, if he puts the effort in now, this won't spell the end of his career.

But he may have fatally misjudged the mood of a nation, if his appearance on Larry King is anything to go by. The domestic abuse is one thing, people will forgive and forget. But I can't see the urban-music loving audience being willing to embrace an R&B artist who turns up to interviews dressed as the Fresh Prince's cousin Carlton. Sporting a pastel blue sweater and a bow-tie, he could have been auditioning for a new Revenge of the Nerds movie.

Someone needs to get Trinny and Susannah on the case - after all, Chris clearly needs some styling tips and they could both do with a good slap.