Thursday 7 April 2011

Royals, with cheese


With just over three weeks to go until the big day, Kate Middleton has probably got a lot on her mind. But unlike most brides, she’s likely to be focusing on what her married life will involve, rather than worrying about where to seat her alcoholic uncle or trying to neutralize the best man’s embarrassing speech.

Lots of little girls grow up wanting to be a princess, but for the majority, that dream begins and ends in the costumes aisle of Toys R Us. A cheap polyester Cinderella gown is all most kids need to indulge in their juvenile royal fantasies. 

In lieu of an actual fairy godmother, parents with plenty of disposable income and a serious interest in their daughters’ marriage potential, are taking matters into their own hands.  They’re happily spending over £2,500 on a new prep school experience that teaches their little bundles of high-maintenance joy how to be a real princess.

The Kensington-based summer camp shows kids from eight to 11 the ‘art’ of being a royal. Instead of focusing on managing infidelity, hiding an eating disorder and smiling beneficently at tramps, the course offers lessons in good manners, horse riding and the perfect curtsey. And they get to drink a lot of tea.

The founder of ‘Princess Prep’, American Jerramy Fine, has developed a curriculum based on her own life-long desire to become a princess. Her book ‘Someday My Prince Will Come’ describes her journey from the U.S. to Chiswick, in search of an enchanted lifestyle. She explains “'Ever since I was a little girl I’ve wanted to be a princess and I never grew out of it. I just wanted to create something that I would have liked as a girl.”

But even the royal family has to adapt, so some traditional aspects of monarchical living have been replaced with more contemporary scenarios. In addition to lessons in royal history and philanthropy, the girls will be educated in “phone and iPod etiquette”. That means no ‘God Save the Queen’ ringtones or asking Her Majesty if you can borrow her USB charger.

If you’re not creeped out by the idea of an eight year-old girl practising how to deal with boredom, awkward moments and coughing fits, consider the fact that they have to do it in front of 33 year-old Sloaney wearing a paper plate with the Queen’s head printed on it.

The course seems to be a big hit with tiara-loving tweens - two of the three week-long sessions are already fully booked - so Jerramy is now working on expanding her empire. For an authentic royal experience, she may want to cover off seat-belt safety, tipping protocol at The Box, and how to spot a tabloid sting

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