Tuesday 2 November 2010

Shot through the heart, and you're to blame...

Next time you have a bad day in the office, remember that at least your job doesn't involve being shot at by a disgruntled, coked-up barrister. There must be less stressful ways to earn a living.

Back in May, Mark Saunders "descended into a drunken hell of binge drinking and cocaine abuse" before loading a gun and taking pot-shots at his neighbours houses. Scotland Yard were promptly engaged and a five-hour stand-off ensued, before seven trained marksmen shot him down in a blaze of glory. It's a dirty job but someone had to do it.

Following the inquest, none of the marksmen faced charges since they were, after all, just doing their deeply distressing job. But now a new inquiry is underway, since it emerged that one of the shooters, known only as Alpha Zulu 8 (AZ8), may not have taken the original investigation seriously enough. In the eyes of the law, this was no laughing matter.

It turns out that AZ8 was disciplined over his verbal testimony, because it's believed that he may have quoted a number of pop songs in his statement. Sure, it might seem a little insensitive, but who hasn't slipped a few song lyrics into their conversation every now and then? I've done it before, and I'll do it again.

The problem is, it's a tough allegation to prove. Even the Daily Mail freely admits that no-one knows exactly which songs were quoted. Although it has managed to piece together some dubious evidence based on the fact that the Alan Freeman of assassins did use the phrases 'first time' (by Robin Beck), 'enough is enough' (Donna Summer and Barbra Streisand) and 'point of no return' (Duran Duran).

I'm not sure it's sufficient grounds to support the idea that he was callously tainting his testimony - it actually sounds more like the shooter was coming out of the closet.

If nothing else, this new investigation seems like an inordinate waste of resources. After all, it's only words. Song lyrics are littered with cliches, as are the speech patterns of most law enforcement professionals. I think we can chalk this one up to unfortunate coincidence. Stranger things have happened.

1 comment:

  1. "Song lyrics are littered with cliches, as are the speech patterns of most law enforcement professionals. I think we can chalk this one up to unfortunate coincidence."
    thank god i wasn't the only one thinking that!
    i absolutely hate the daily mail, but it was far from the only paper making this allegation about this police officer and speculating wildly about which songs he might have quoted - even the "quality" papers, disappointingly, seemed to be taking it seriously.
    on a slightly lighter note, what is it with bon jovi doing so many songs about guns? freud would have a field day...

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