No offence?

Cast your mind back to the end of last year. You may recall Ron Howard forced to defend his new movie The Dilemma, thanks to a line of dialogue that featured in the trailer. The offending scene saw Vince Vaughn (playing a boorish asshole for a change) describe electric cars as "gay".

The debate ran for weeks, as gay rights activists objected to the use of the word as a pejorative, whilst Howard, Vaughn and co argued that the line was acceptable within the context of the character and the story. In retrospect, the film's producers must have been thankful for the controversy, since little else about The Dilemma seemed to garner much interest.

The film itself may have been utterly forgettable, but it has left us with a legacy - namely, enhanced sensitivity about the 'G' word. When is it appropriate, who gets to use it, and what does it really mean?

This week, it was Oprah Winfrey's who found herself embroiled in a new debate on the topic. As she prepares to wrap up her long running talk show, she's invited cameras behind-the-scenes to film her in her hollowed-out volcano lair, to see how 'Oprah' is put together. Interestingly, it takes more than a couple of therapy sessions and a quick trip to Barnes & Noble to plan a season of empowering chatter.

The new 'making of' footage posted on Oprah's website shows the patron saint of discontented housewives struggling to determine whether she'd inadvertently caused offence with a recent interview she conducted with author Terry McMillan and her gay ex-husband Jonathan Plummer.

The focus of the interview was to determine how the couple had managed to salvage a cordial relationship following the revelation that Jonathan had been living a lie. During the exchange, Oprah suggested that Plummer "...seemed gayer now...", prompting the Harpo PR team to spring into damage limitation mode.

The events that played out in Oprah's throne room stir up a host of issues concerning her seemingly innocuous observation, especially since she declares herself 'a friend of the gays'. With her twitchy PR on speakerphone, Oprah grills some of her gay employees for their opinion on the subject, with the consensus being that her comment could be seen as insensitive or offensive by audiences.

One assistant, Carlos, begins by outing himself to his incredulous colleagues (presumably they don't have functioning eyes or ears) and proceeds to admit that he was offended by the suggestion that someone could "be more gay". His argument has some merit - if homosexuality is something you're born with, how could that be something to dial up or tone down?

The problem here, is that there's a risk in conflating gayness with homosexuality. The latter is clearly a pre-determined sexual orientation, whereas the former covers a mindset, an attitude and a lifestyle choice. Oprah's observation was clearly based on Plummer's behavioural displays and mannerisms, rather than the accumulation of new bedpost notches.

It's customary, when people come out of the closet, for them to explore their new identity, like assembling a new, post-makeover wardrobe. In most cases the 'gayness' is turned up to 11, as the newbie throws themselves head-first into an unfamiliar lifestyle. They meet new people, make new friends, and attempt to identify with the shared heritage from which they may previously have felt excluded.

Just look at Ricky Martin - it's less than a year since he finally fessed up to what the world had suspected for years. And yet already, he's happy labelling himself a 'gay activist', as though he led the drag queen riots at Stonewall in 1969.

All gays and lesbians encounter some kind of homophobia when they first emerge from the closet, often in the form of their own internalised fears. It's a learning process that everyone has to go through as they first accept their homosexuality, and then work out whereabouts on the colour-coded gay-alert chart they're most comfortable.

Oprah may be berating herself for letting her mask of tolerance slip for a moment, but I think she should be congratulated. Firstly, for having the sensitivity to question her own use of language, and secondly, for opening up a grown-up debate about the words we use and the meanings behind them.

He bangs

Well colour me shocked. Ricky Martin is gay? Next you'll be telling me that Sean Hayes wasn't just playing one on TV. Oh, right. To be honest though, when it comes to Ricky, the clues were always there.

For instance, like 67% of all gay men, Ricky spent several years in a boyband. Admittedly, Menudo was a boyband with a difference, having been through more line-up changes than the Sugababes playing musical chairs. But at least with Menudo that was always the point.

As Latin America's most popular teenage musical group through the 70s and 80s, Menudo was created by Puerto Rican music producer Edgardo Diaz. He came up with the idea for a boyband where the members would rotate as they get older - being replaced on their sixteenth birthday, or when they grew too tall or hairy.

Rather than a homoerotic spin on the story of Sleeping Beauty, think of it like military service. In countries like Greece and Denmark, young men face mandatory conscription - in Latin America, you simply serve a couple of years in Menudo instead. And young Ricky was more than happy to be drafted.

Post-Menudo, Ricky spent the best part of a decade working as a solo artist singing predominantly in Spanish, before branching out into English. One summer smash later and the whole world was Livin' La Vida Loca. Ricky sang about waking up in a cheap New York hotel after a crazy night with a woman who took his heart and his money, arguing "She must've slipped me a sleeping pill." On reflection, it may have been rohypnol rather than Ambien.

Nonetheless, Ricky had arrived as a major pop star and was soon racking up the hits. He was even fortunate enough to team up with the 'Queen of Pop' for a duet called 'Be Careful (Cuidade con Mi Corazon)', although he found her a fearsome taskmaster. Ricky told the press that Madonna had even reduced him to tears, but that's not difficult given that she could probably make Robert Mugabe pretend he had 'something in his eye'.

With his profile higher than Lindsay Lohan at two in the morning, Ricky foolishly subjected himself to one-to-one with the grand dame of celebrity interviews Barbara Walters. Unconvinced by the rampant heterosexuality coursing through tracks like 'She Bangs', Barbara interrogated Ricky about his sexuality, only for the Latin heart-throb to clam up.

Even though she's been interviewing celebrities since Buster Keaton was a pin-up, Barbara counts her Ricky Martin interview as the biggest regret of her career. Speaking to the Toronto Star, Barbara said "In 2000, I pushed Ricky Martin very hard to admit if he was gay or not, and the way he refused to do it made everyone decide that he was. A lot of people say that destroyed his career, and when I think back on it now I feel it was an inappropriate question." Barbara's egocentric viewpoint aside, Ricky's fading star probably had more to do with the fact that audiences had moved on from the cheesy Latin craze that dominated charts in the early noughties.

Since then, Ricky has had a couple of low profile releases, most notably the twins he had with a surrogate in 2008. Let's face it - if you want to squash those gay rumours, making babies in a rent-by-the-hour womb probably isn't the best way to go. Just ask Clay Aiken.

So now, Ricky has finally told the world what we already knew, announcing on his website "I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am." In a fairly lengthy open letter, he claims that now is the right time for him to tell the world about his sexuality, although it's been suggested that his timing has more to do with the pressures placed on him by his boyfriend, who is tired of skulking in the shadows.

But maybe all of this cynicism is a little unfair - the clues were there all along. As the photo above shows, Ricky's well-versed in the art of shirt-lifting. And to think, we just assumed he was showing off his abs.