Thursday, 6 May 2010

Lift with your knees

You may not realise it, but p0pvulture is currently on holiday in the Canaries. However, my commitment to my loyal readers (both of you) means that a regular service will be maintained throughout the duration of my stay. Hurrahs all round, and a vodka/diet Coke please.

Last night, as we disembarked the plane and stood by the baggage carousel marveling at the size of 21st century pushchairs (airbags, ABS and four-wheel drive as standard) it occurred to us that our luggage was rather heavy. If only we had a strapping young seƱor to assist us with our crippling cases. No impropriety mind, just a smooth young man to handle our overburdened bags.

I got the idea from George Alan Rekers, a founding member of the Family Research Council and owner of the finest facial hair since Thomas Sullivan Magnum spent eight years house-sitting in Hawaii.

Rekers has just returned to the States after a ten-day trip to Europe, condemning homosexuals to an eternity of flaming (and not the good kind). In particular, Rekers likes produce teen-oriented literature that portrays the gay community as being obsessed with group coprophilia.

But Rekers is now in the middle of a shit-storm of his own, given that he was photographed leaving Miami International Airport with a young traveling companion who can be hired by the hour from

As soon as the story broke, Rekers needed to come up with a plausible excuse. Instead, he issued a statement that read "I had surgery, and I can't lift luggage. That's why I hired him." I wonder how many businessmen in the 1960s claimed that they hired Cynthia Payne for a birthday party, simply because they were asthmatic and needed someone to blow up the balloons.

He also maintains that he only found out about Amandi Nicholi Jr's primary source of income halfway through the trip. Probably about the same time that he found the change on his bedside table.

With his reputation in tatters (much like his... no, I'm not going to go there), a full rebuttal has been posted on his website claiming "There was nothing inappropriate with this relationship. Professor Rekers was not involved in any illegal or sexual behavior with his travel assistant."

But I'm not sure anyone's going to believe him, especially since the organisation he founded has also responded to the story with a statement that reads "While we are extremely disappointed when any Christian leader engages in the very activities that they "preach" against, it is not surprising. The Scriptures clearly teach the fallen nature of all people."

It remains to be seen whether or not Rekers can salvage his career. Whatever went on (and only he, Nicholi and the bed-linen-washers of Europe know the truth) he made a stupid mistake. Everybody knows it's cheaper to pick up bargains when you get to your destination, rather than buying them first and taking them with you.

1 comment:

  1. Oh no! What happens to your other project?

    Always disgusted and disturbed to hear about people that go around spreading hate in such terrible ways....

    ...not to be judging!